Category Archives: leather lifestyle

A Banana Should Be A Banana

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I wrote a blog the other day about the GQ style police not thinking that men wearing leather pants was such a good idea, and reflected on my opinion of their homophobic and witless commentary.

A friend, Kevin, posted a reply and later that day, said this to me in an email:

It caused me to think about how much our personal images are tied into what we decide to wear. I believe that very few of us actually dress to please ourselves. We mostly seem to dress to either fit in or to represent the role we choose to play. I read an interview with RuPaul recently in which he viewed our clothing as a form of drag. As he put it, whether it’s a dress or suit, we’re all playing a role. The difficulty comes when we start to believe that role truly represents what’s inside. I hope most people come to the realization that at the end of the day, sometimes a banana is just a banana.

Kevin is right. I look around my office and see the kid in the cube down the hall wearing a suit every day. Not because he has important meetings, but because he is playing a role of trying to wear what the boss wears as he has clear aspirations in wanting to be promoted. I see all the glum-faced attorneys riding the Metro with me into and out of the city. In my off-time, I see the happy family guy in my cousin as he plays with his kids while wearing a comfy sweatshirt and jeans. I see the bad-ass bikers in my motorcycle riding club wearing their beat-up jackets, club-colors vests, boots, and chaps.

We all wear costumes of some sort. Some of us are more comfortable or accepting of certain costumes that society suggests such as suits in an office and khakis & polo shirts with sneakers when off the clock.

Some of us are not. I have already stated that in my opinion, I do not like suits & ties. That’s me. That’s not everybody. My twin brother was born in a tie, but I still love the big lug. I seem to have been born jumping into mud puddles wearing boots and jeans. I am equally comfortable in a pair of Wranglers and cowboy boots as I am in a pair of leather jeans and engineer boots. It is a matter of personal taste.

What I wear to the office conforms with the norms there. What I wear on my own time conforms with ME. Not with anyone else. Yes, I play various roles — community helper, loving nephew, roughhousing uncle, repair-guy, biker-dude, civic leader, friend, brother, partner…. Do I change what I wear based on the role I will play? Well, usually not. I mean if I have to conform to a written or unwritten dress code, such as no all-leather outfits at a funeral, I’ll do that. But I don’t fret if the animal on my shirt is from a real cow from which the shirt is made, rather than some alligator or lizard or polo player. I’m just not that kind of guy.

Life is short: be your own person. It’s much more comfortable that way!

Style Mag Stereotypes

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I read Straightjacketed’s blog posted titled GQ: Leather Trousers Proceed With Caution the other day. In the post, SJ quoted parts of a reader’s inquiry to GQ Magazine and their resident “Style Guy’s” reply. What prompted the response was a letter from a guy who was asking GQ about its “take” on leather having a resurgence and wearing a pair of leather pants (trousers) without “scraficing the little fashion credibility I have.”

Unfortunately, the Style Guy’s reply was full of half-hearted attempts at being witty, but had many underlying descriptions of stereotypical thoughts about guys who may choose to wear leather pants (trousers, jeans, whatever you want to call them.)

Some of the statements offered by the so-called Style Guy include: I understand the appeal of leather – even if it is on a deep-down pervy level – and that whole Wild West meets The Wild One schtick. But the truth is leather trousers are, how can I put this, just a little bit gay (think chaps), and I think one runs the risk of looking more Village People than Marlon Brando.

SJ described the article as a gem of witlessness and a simple case of kneejerk homophobia. I completely agree.

Unlike SJ, I never really followed, read, or was interested in men’s style magazines. Dressing “stylishly” was always something that bothered me to my core. Why? Besides the expense, I never liked how “stylish” clothing looked on other men, or myself. I detest dress shoes. I hate ties. I abhor suits. I wouldn’t be caught dead in an overcoat. In my opinion, pants with cuffs or shirts with cufflinks look silly. Please understand: that is my opinion. My personal feeling about this manner of men’s dress has become even more strong as I have aged, rather than my becoming more conservative and accepting.

I cannot put my finger on the reasons why I feel this way. It may have to do with an ongoing rejection of conformity, since I am a child of the 60s and 70s. … though, I get my hair buzzed (primarily because I don’t like to “style” my hair. A buzz-cut is much easier to keep clean!)

My aversion to stylish dress may have to do with what I perceive to be the lifestyle choices of the men who wear such clothing. But I will not go down the road of offering stereotypes of yuppies….

And I mentioned the expense, which bothers a fiscally conservative guy like me a lot. Why pay $200 for one pair of pants and $100 for a shirt when a $40 pair of pants and $25 shirt from Lands End will look great, be wrinkle-free, and be washable at home, as well. Why pay the ongoing expense of dry cleaning?

I have looked and cannot find the letter that SJ was quoting from in the UK version of GQ. I looked on the UK GQ website, as well as the US GQ website, and all I could find was more anti-leather, stereotypical articles and comments about “style guys” thinking that men wearing anything other than a leather jacket is not fashionable or acceptable.

They are as entitled to their opinions as I am entitled to my own. I think they are wrong, short-sighted, ill-informed, as well as being homophobic and that they enjoy (as SJ says) using lazy journalistic clichés about leather. I never read their magazine, and will not begin to do so now.

I truly regret, however, that exposure to this thoughtless, witless drivel on an ongoing basis affects the thinking of the straight men of the world. Then one of them will see me wearing a pair of leather jeans, and think something badly about me, because their perception was clouded by such negativity.

My brother was a good example — he is a very stylish man. He told me that he would never wear a pair of leather pants until his wife and I talked him into trying on a pair of leather pants a couple weeks ago. Now he loves them. He has also done what I have suggested a lot on this blog: be your own guy. To heck with nay-sayin’ commentaries from ill-informed people.

Life is short: wear leather. Grrrrrrrrrrrr.

Shopping for Leather Jeans or Chaps

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I received a comment on a blog post the other day from the guy who owns Eastern Oregon Leather and who made those really cool wrist cuffs for me and my partner.

He said: “the pair of [leather] jeans I got is turning out to be really cheap. They are off the shelf from the net and the seat is already stretching out. They fit fine the first time I wore them but now it looks like I have a load of crap in my seat .. Lol! Live and learn. I am now looking for a custom shop to get a good pair.”

I also received an email from a guy in Germany who said: “Your leather gear looks great on you. You said that some of your gear is more than 20 years old, yet it looks new. It isn’t like the gear I ordered by the internet. Where did you get it?”

I learned the hard way about buying leather gear and perhaps I can share some information with guys who are interested in getting a pair of leather jeans, chaps, or even a leather shirt so the gear will fit them well and remain good-looking as it is worn for years to come.

Here is what I have learned:

  • Leather gear designed for the masses, such as sold on some straight biker-oriented websites (leatherup.com and Jamin’ Leather are prime examples), looks good on guys who model it for photos on their website, and appears good the first time you open the box. But as Shane said, when you wear it a few times, it begins to stretch, sag, and get baggy in the wrong places. If you want to continue to wear it, you will have to have it professionally altered, often at a cost that is more than what you paid for it originally (unless you have the skills and equipment to do alterations yourself.)
  • There is a reason why leather gear that has prices significantly lower than gear sold by leather-oriented retailers is cheap: the quality of the hides is usually poor. It is probably made of splits, not top grain leather, but is polished, buffed, and the leather is stamped to appear as if it is top grain. But it doesn’t behave as top-grain leather when you wear it. It usually squeaks, stretches, and can tear easily. It may discolor when exposed to water, rain, or heat from a motorcycle engine. The chemicals used to make it shiny wear off quickly, and then it looks dull, or develops discoloured patches ranging from gray to black. Sometimes it can look like it has “leather pox.” (Not a real disease, but you get the point.)
  • Construction of a leather garment is important! Cheap gear shows short-cuts in manufacture — anything from single-stitched seams to x-pattern stitches where rivets would work better (corners, pockets — like on Levis) or a shortage of pockets to (my pet peeve) cheap snaps in the fly so when you swing your leg over the saddle of a motorcycle, your fly pops open.
  • Sizes S-M-L-XL are attempts to fit everyone, and usually don’t (fit everyone).

  • “Cut-to-length” jeans or chaps are a sign of cheaply made-for-the-masses gear. Leather jeans or chaps should be hemmed, not cut, to the right length. Hemming requires the use of a sewing machine and needle strong enough to work on leather. If you simply cut off the bottom of a pair of jeans to fit the length of your legs, then the ends of the legs will fray and the seams will come loose.
  • Be very careful about using eBay, Craigslist, or other on-line auction sites. Remember: used gear fits someone else. No two people are exactly the same. The previous owner may have caused the leather to stretch in the seat or knees. If you wear size 34 denim jeans and see a size 34 pair of leather jeans, it is NOT likely the fit will be the same. You may end up with something that doesn’t fit you, and that you cannot return. Don’t use on-line auction sites to buy leather unless you really know what you’re doing and have experience with choosing gear that will fit you.

Good quality leather gear will outlive the person wearing it if you care for it by conditioning it from time to time and hanging it up when you are not wearing it. Leather is a long-term investment. As such, here are my tips for shopping for leather gear:

  • Make a decision on how often you will wear the garment. If you will wear it more than once-a-year to a leather fashion show or gathering of The Great Leather Clan, then get quality, custom-made gear. It will fit you better, look better, and be made better. If, however, you are unwilling to wear leather pants, chaps, or a shirt more than once or twice a year, then you probably can get by with the cheap stuff, as a long-term investment isn’t worth it.

  • Don’t be intimidated or afraid of shopping at a leather-oriented retailer like 665 Leather, Mr. S., Northbound, or equivalent. While these retailers may have images on their website that may be frightening or cause eyebrows to raise among the straight guys, these businesses are in business for a reason: they craft quality leather garments and they know what they’re doing. They have measured and made leather gear for all sorts of people — big, small, tall, short, black, white, Asian, male, female, transgendered, and people with physical disabilities. They don’t care what you look like; they’re not looking for the next sexy model for their website. They want you to be happy with quality gear that you will wear. (Which brings me back to point 1: get over your own hang-ups about wearing leather.)

  • Use the retailers website to gather information and to determine what turns your crank, but especially for the first few forays into purchase of leather gear: visit the store in person or call them on the phone. Don’t order based on an image and fill-in-boxes on a website alone! When you visit or call a leather retailer, they can discuss with you many options that may not appear on their website. Options may include:
    • different colour of leather other than black.
    • a zip fly instead of snaps.
    • a zipper all the way around from front to back.
    • measurements they need so they can create gear thats fits all parts of your body: ankles, calf, lower leg, upper leg, thigh, hips, butt, waist, abdomen, tummy, chest, arms, neck.

    • hidden zipper front closure of a leather shirt (very functional!)
    • number, size, and placement of pockets.
    • piping (colored strips that define pockets and seams).
    • striping down the outside of each leg.
    • color combinations, such as for pocket flaps, epaulettes, or yoke.
    • Closure for chaps, such as a belt or snaps.
    • Bottom leg closure, such as zippers to make a tapered end so the leather will fit into tall boots smoothly.

    • Lots of other stuff, too. The point is, unless you actually speak with someone who is making leather gear for you, then you may miss out on getting options for leather gear that makes it “uniquely YOU!”

Custom gear made to your specific measurements may cost two to four times as much as off-the-‘net stuff will cost, BUT buying one item that you will wear for years is a better investment than two or three items that may quickly stretch, bulge, discolor, or rip and that you will not be able or interested in wearing for more than a few times, or that you would need to have repaired or altered by a professional.

When I consider buying leather jeans, chaps or shirts, I consider these retailers:

665 Leather of North Hollywood, California.
Mr. S Leather of San Francisco, California.
Northbound Leather of Toronto, Ontario, Canada.

I have purchased many leather items from these retailers, and have been very pleased with the quality of the garments and their construction. The choices of leather they use is superb. Craftsmanship is excellent. Customer service is also very good.

In summary, when it comes to buying new leather jeans, chaps, shirts, jackets, vests, or the like, you get what you pay for. Buy cheap, get cheap. Make an investment in the good stuff, and it will last a lifetime. You will enjoy wearing it, and perhaps become like me: wear it often, with pride.

For more information, read my Complete Guide to Leather Gear. I hope it helps you make wise decisions for long-term investments in quality and gear you will enjoy for a long time.

Life is short: wear your leather!

Combining Passions

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Yesterday was a day of service in the United States, where to honour the memory and ideals of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., we are encouraged to take time to serve others. Both my partner and I had the day off from work as a holiday.

The day began with the early arrival of our friendly Man in Brown (UPS delivery) where I received a pair of Berliner Riding Pants made by 665 Leather of West Hollywood, California.

I quickly changed into the riding pants and put on my 665-made grey leather shirt. They made a great combination and felt wonderful with tall Wesco patrol boots!

Side note: I have always said that when you’re having leather gear custom made, to give the maker a call and discuss your interests. These riding pants are different from what is usually offered because I prefer a zip fly (instead of snaps), tighter closure at the leg opening (like breeches so I can wear them with tall boots over them), and a higher rise at the waist, so they will fit me better. If you want something made the way you will like it so you will wear it more, then by all means, call the maker and discuss options. Doing that will result in a product from which you will enjoy a lifetime of wear.

When we rose at 6am, I had prepared Cialda (waffles) for my partner and me. I cleaned up the breakfast dishes, then mounted my Harley and rode to a food bank where I volunteered for about six hours, helping them to sort out donations, clean up, and repair some broken shelving.

Turns out I was not the only guy who was wearing leather and boots while volunteering! A very nice guy was also wearing a pair of leather jeans and engineer boots (with a denim shirt.) He doesn’t ride a motorcycle, but he once did. He gave me his card and asked me to get in touch, as he is seriously interested in buying a motorcycle and getting back on the road. He was quite an enjoyable helper/companion for the day’s work.

It had warmed up to be a very pleasant day, with temperatures reaching 55°F (13°C) by mid-day when finished my shift and left. I rode for about 30 miles (48km) while enjoying the wonderful day. Ahhhh… boots, bike, and leather.

What a wonderful way to combine my passions of community service with riding my Harley fully geared.

Life is short: combine your passions!

Leather Weekend!

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It is Leather Weekend in Washington, DC! Time for Mid-Atlantic Leather. Alas, I did not participate in any of the MAL activities, either official or unofficial, such as the HotBoots gathering yesterday afternoon. I didn’t even travel more than a few kilometers from my home, out in the suburbs of the city (about 20km from downtown.)

In honour of Leather Weekend, even though I chose to do other things and not participate, I wore full leather commencing Friday evening and all through the weekend as I went about my daily life.

Saturday morning, I wore a short-sleeved leather shirt and leather jeans over Chippewa firefighter boots. When outdoors, I had a simple black motorcycle jacket on. I presided over a public meeting with my community group, followed by grocery shopping with my senior friends, then doing our own grocery shopping, too. I checked in on my lovely aunt and ran some errands, as well.

On Saturday afternoon, my partner felt well enough to put on some leather gear, and asked me to put on my LAPD leather uniform. We modeled our new wrist cuffs about which I blogged the other day. These cuffs have a great masculine appearance and feel great. My partner loves his, as I enjoy wearing mine. After taking some photos, we watched a movie at home. (Haven’t done that in a long time!)

Today I have a meeting with a state senator as we prepare his campaign re-election website, and I work with him on his bill regarding a requirement to use only hands-free mobile devices while driving — a perennial issue for me that our spineless state legislature can’t seem ever to pass out of committee despite the weighty evidence and studies about distracted driving.

Since rain will fall all day today, I have on my naked leather jeans, long-sleeved leather shirt, and lug-soled Wesco Harness boots that give good grip while walking on wet pavement.

After the meeting with my senator, I will change leathers to “more grubby” (such as an old pair of cheap leather jeans and shirt), change into Wesco Combat Boots, and get to work on renovating a house I bought a week ago.

I had a rather typical weekend. Busy with things I do in my regular life, but nothing special. I would like to have hung out at the MAL host hotel for a while and visit with friends who are in town for the special leather weekend; however, my partner is recovering from a set-back he had with his disability, and could not walk nor stand for more than a few minutes. I would not have left him at home while I went off to socialize with the booted leatherdudes, as doing so would make him feel bad, which is the last thing I would want to have happen.

Enjoy your leather! Wear it more often than once a year at MAL, hear?

Life is short: enjoy it in boots and leather.

Leather Belts

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I received an email the other day that asked, “I was wondering have you or your partner ever given someone a belt spanking.” (there were a number of typos and misspellings, but that is what was meant.)

It caused me to think (there I go again) … being a vanilla leatherman in a monogamous relationship with another of the same ….

I guess there are ongoing visual impressions, and perhaps misunderstandings, that anyone who wears leather gear — particularly the “old guard BLUF” style gear — enjoys carrying out or observing S&M activities, including hitting someone else with a belt, spanking, or such.

I am not saying that those who enjoy these types of activities are wrong or bad — BUT… my answer was:

“The only use that my partner and I have for a leather belt is to hold our pants up.”

…and that’s the truth.

Then the guy wrote back almost immediately and pursued with this statement, “no i ment for punishment” [sic]

My reply was rather terse, as I was becoming annoyed. I said:

“You did not understand me. We never have or ever will use a belt for punishment, period. That’s it. We don’t do that. We never have done that. We never will. The ONLY use we have for a belt is to hold our pants up. How can I be more clear?”

Generally, I try to be patient with people, but sometimes they just don’t get it. The writer may have other “issues” about which I am not aware. But that’s it. I do not intend to communicate with him again on this matter. If he cannot understand what I wrote, then there is little more that I can explain or do.

How many belts do I have? Six. I have owned most of them for so long that I do not remember where or when I got them. The belt that I wear most often is a standard western 2″ black leather belt — you know, the kind on which you can change buckles; one belt is a a brown version of the black western belt; one is a brown western belt with conchos; one is a garrison belt that I wear with uniforms; and one is a Sam Browne belt with shoulder strap that I also wear with uniforms; my last belt is a 2-1/2″ belt with pyramid studs on it, which I wear with leather jeans.

That’s it. I do not own any of those 1″ thin leather dress belts. I hate dressing up. My 2″ western belts work on my dress pants on the rare occasions I have to wear that garb.

I am rather boring when it comes to belts.

Life is short: keep your pants up (in public).

Cuffed

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This is a really cool, stylish, and exceptionally well-made wrist cuff that I just received. My partner also received one. When he’s feeling better, we both will “model” our cuffs together.

The wrist cuff is made by Eastern Oregon Leather Factory. The guy who owns the business and makes this gear is obviously very talented.

I received an email from the company owner last week, asking for permission to reprint a portion of my Complete Guide to Leather Gear which appears on my website. I responded, giving my permission. Now part of my Guide appears on the Eastern Oregon Leather Factory’s Website, here. I appreciate that he asked me, and honored my copyright. I am happy to share if I am asked. I commend the owner for doing the right thing and for his honesty.

Hey, leatherguys, or someone looking for something different, hand-made, and special. You should check out the products available from Eastern Oregon Leather Factory and get something. Great watchbands, cuffs, and bracelets, with more to come, I’m sure. The prices are very reasonable.

My partner and I are now the “best cuffed men” here in Maryland! (Smile — go tell that to my bike cop tenant. He will have a big laugh out of that!)

Life is short: share your work and enjoy the recognition of being published!

Why Not Mid-Atlantic Leather?

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Grey Black LeatherIt is time for the annual rites of leather passage, the second-largest U.S. gathering of The Great Leather Clan, at the gay men’s (and a few women) cowhide convention called “Mid Atlantic Leather” or for short, MAL. It is held in downtown Washington, DC, over the weekend of Martin Luther King’s Birthday Holiday. This year, January 15 – 18.

One would think that with the interest and vast assortment of leather gear that I have, including some just for fetish wear, that I would be anxious to attend MAL. It is in my hometown and the weather forecast is decent. It would not require all the expense and hassles of flying anywhere. As financially frugal as I am, that’s a good thing 🙂

I would like to see some people I know and meet some men with whom I have communicated by email. I have received a few invitations by email to meet some fellow Boot Brothers for dinner one night during MAL or a meal on Monday morning before they leave for their respective homes.

Regretfully, my partner’s disability has flared up severely. He is in a lot of pain and is immobile. His pain has grown worse over the last week, and he is in no shape to get around anywhere. I don’t go to events like MAL without him, so if he can’t go, I won’t go. My primary job will be to take care of him until he is back on his feet and able to walk.

Further, the problem with an event in your own hometown is that your own life doesn’t stop. I have a number of commitments over the weekend that are unavoidable. Plus, I have to admit, I hate trying to get around DC. It is hard to find a place to park, and now that they charge an arm, leg, and your first-born to park on the street, I don’t want to deal with it. (Public transit is not an option because it is too far away from MAL event locations for my partner to be able to walk to.)

My partner and I have enjoyed “guy watching” at MAL in years past. Some of the behavior I have seen at these gatherings of the Cowhide Clan are amusing. Many guys follow each other like lemmings, flitting hither-and-yon to the fetishwear expo, the events, and other non-published get-togethers. Many are texting and calling each other on their mobile devices. (I probably wouldn’t be allowed into MAL any more because I have no desire to carry a personal cell phone in a holster on my belt.)

One year, I took some focused-on-boots video of guys walking around the lobby of the host hotel, and received the most amusing rant from a closet queen demanding that I take the video off my YouTube channel. Sad but true, there are a lot of once-a-year leather dudes who go to MAL. But then again, it is a time of freedom to butch up in leather and be with other guys who share the same interest. I get it. I felt that way when I was younger, too. There is sort of a fantasy thrill to being decked out in leather from head to boot around all those guys in leather gear and sundry fetishwear.

Most guys are interesting to talk to, and have backgrounds and stories to which I have enjoyed listening. I could possibly visit the Hotboots party on Saturday afternoon (2-4pm, Green Lantern Bar), or afterwords sit out in the smokin’ tent and have a good discussion. I have done that for many years, and it’s been an enjoyable way to spend some time.

But… as I said above, I live with a man whom I love tremendously, and with whom I share a monogamous relationship, but who is having severe physical difficulties right now. My focus must be on him.

Life is short: have fun on the edge of leatherdom.

Going Grey

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I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: leather doesn’t always have to be black.

I received my delayed Christmas present from my partner: a short-sleeved grey leather shirt. It has black leather accents and white piping. It’s gorgeous! The top grain leather from which it is made is in the 9-10oz range, so it is thick and warm, but soft and flexible. Man, this is about the highest quality leather garment I have ever owned.

It was made custom for me by 665 Leather of North Hollywood, California. They were having this “Black Friday sale”… and, ahem, hints were given and my beloved partner, the excellent listener, responded.

It goes very well with my custom grey chaps and underchaps that I had made by Northbound Leather of Toronto, Canada, in 2004. The outfit is a bit “out there in leatherland” so I don’t think I will wear it as I go about my community business. But I will wear it when I ride my Harley… some day… when this darned cold snap abates and the snow and ice all goes away. Some day….

Grrrrr! More pics of this shirt are on my website.

Life is short: wear your leather!

Vanilla Leatherman

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In the gay world, the term “vanilla” means:

“… expression for conventional sex without any kinky extras such as bondage or sado-masochism.” (source).

I have been “into leather” for decades, and some may call me an “Old Guard Leatherman.” I regularly wear a Muir Cap (traditional “old guard” regalia), as well as full leather and tall boots. (note — when I say “regularly,” I mean “often” — not just to once-a-year events like MAL or IML or a MC club’s “run.”) Heck, sometimes I even mix it up with other things, like a flannel shirt with brown leather jeans, or a black leather shirt with blue denim jeans.

Why do I wear leather gear regularly? I like how it protects me when I ride my Harley, how it keeps me warm, and how it feels on my body. It is comfortable, practical, and exceptionally long-lasting. Since I wear leather a lot in my off-time, I do not buy jeans or other casual clothes nearly as much as other guys do — simply because I don’t have to, as my regular clothes have much less wear and do not need to be replaced as often.

I surf the ‘net and read a lot about gay guys who enjoy leather and sexual activities that they do while wearing leather. My perceptions may be grossly affected by what I am reading on the Internet, as I blogged about on Tuesday.

It caused me to think, “is there such a thing as being ‘too vanilla’ for leather?” I do not like bondage, but have no ill-will toward those who do. I never have nor would engage in S&M sexual activities. My reasons for this aversion go back to a previous job where I once rescued bound victims of actual human torture. The memories continue to haunt me, and thus anything related to bondage and/or S&M become as much “unstimulating” to me as they may stimulate others.

Are there “rules” that gay men who wear leather must also like to engage in kinky sex that involves bondage or S&M? Are there leathercops who will confiscate my leather gear because I do not engage in “more active” leathersex that most would define as “kinky”?

Harumppph…. the closest I get to kinky sex is wearing boots, chaps, and a vest when I play with my partner. This is a “G-rated” blog, so I will not describe our sexual activity (and it’s none of your business, anyway). Let me suffice it to say that what we do is rather vanilla. That is how we enjoy it. Since we are monogamous and we both are tops, we do what pleases the other, and get sexual and personal satisfaction pleasing our mate.

But I digress… is it a contradiction in terms to say “vanilla leatherman?” In my case, I do not think so. I venture to say that I think that the vast majority of gay guys who like to wear leather do not engage in kinky leathersex. But the perceptions are that most guys into leather do engage in active, kinky sex. These perceptions are driven by what people read and view today on the Internet, and yesterday in porn mags and videos.

I wonder what others may think.

Life is short: wear your leather!