Some days I really wonder when common courtesy and civility went out the window. But here are a few examples of little things that I have done and others have done for me that mean a lot…
At the naturalization ceremony for my two friends on July 4, we arrived early to find seats. I saw a few people going to a box in the back of the room and pull out small flags. I thought my friends and their families would like to have a flag as well, so I got up and looked in the box. There were hundreds of flags, just piled there. I gave my friends their flags, then stood at the door and handed them out to everyone else who was arriving. Funny, no one thought to do that. But man, it sure made the ceremony more festive!
When the ceremony was over, there were some hecklers standing in the back of the parking lot yelling about “those illegals.” Well heck, these folks worked hard to become U.S. citizens. So I asked one of them why he was there, and he told me that his church pastor told him (some lies) about the event. I explained it to him, and he looked embarrassed. He and his crowd of misinformed miscreants soon left. (My partner warned me “not to get involved,” but some people like this just make my blood boil.)
Then not to mention that I just hate seeing trash strewn about. I picked up their hateful signs and leaflets and put them where they belong: in the garbage.
Speaking of trashing our streets, later that day while riding my Harley to my brother’s, I was stopped at a traffic signal. I saw in my rear-view mirror that a nitwit behind me threw the waste from her fast-food meal out the window of her Lexus. I got off my bike, picked up her garbage, stood in one of my most “Harley-Biker-Growling” poses, and threw the garbage back in her window with an admonishment, “look at the example you are setting for your children!” Her kids were in the back seat, watching. She just stared, mouth agape (Bikers on Harleys can have an intimidating appearance when they’re angry.)
Saturday morning, I sent five birthday cards to some elderly friends whose birthdays are this week. It’s just something I do. Perhaps I get a little carried away (according to my partner), as I’m always mailing cards. I’ve been asked why not just send an e-card? But that’s not the same, especially to older folks who appreciate thoughtful traditions.
In turn, when the mail arrived on Saturday, I found a very nice hand-written card from one of my friends who I had coached for his citizenship test. In carefully written English, he expressed his thanks. The thoughtful words and the card brought tears to my eyes.
At the grocery store where I bring my aunt and some of her friends shopping regularly on Saturdays, someone asked me where she could find some product. I pointed out the location and said, “this week, this brand is on sale.” She beamed.
Leaving the store, escorting three old women across a busy parking lot with a cart full of groceries, someone stopped traffic for us so we could get across safely. Thanks! I need the help! Herding old ladies is worse than herding cats!
As I was returning the cart to the store, I dragged two other carts that had been abandoned in a handicapped parking space back with me. Note to dumb-dumbs: handicapped parking spaces are not cart carrels! If the store is nice enough to let you take the cart out to the lot, then please have the courtesy to return it! Sheesh… that really bugs me. Of course, as I’m going along, I’m picking up trash…. that bugs me too, the trashing of America.
Saturday night, my partner and I were having a little fun in boots & leather while relaxing on our more private outdoor deck. I noted that water from an earlier rainfall was dripping over the gutter instead of going down the downspout… note to self: clean the debris off the gutter-guards. (Remember this for later.)
Sunday, my partner had some photos that he had taken of his Mom but didn’t know how to download them from his camera or send them to be printed. Sure, I can help. Just a little thing, but was appreciated.
I was looking out the window and saw a neighbor walking a dog. She was having to dodge under some branches of some trees around the sidewalk. I got out my trimmers and cut off low branches on trees over the sidewalk. Beats hiring a tree trimming service (for which we haven’t budgeted from the HOA funds!)
I went to get my hair buzzed in advance of going to a major conference later this week. At the shop where my favorite stylist works (and to whom I have been going for 25 years!), I held the door for someone else as she was going in. She smiled and said, “gracias.” I had a pleasant conversation with her in Spanish as we were both waiting for the same stylist. Though my Spanish isn’t all that good, she was very courteous in not correcting me.
Sunday afternoon, I picked up a newspaper on a neighbor’s driveway. The neighbor is out of town, and I didn’t want the paper to be left there advertising, “no one is home.” He has done the same for me. A neighborly thing to do.
About an hour later, I saw a guy on the roof of that neighbor’s house cleaning out his gutters. I spoke with the guy, and he told me that a company he works for has a contract and that he does this work twice a year. I noticed that when he climbed the ladder to the roof, he had dropped the hose. I just picked it up and pushed it toward him, so he wouldn’t have to come back down to get it. He thanked me.
While speaking with him, I asked him if he had time to clean that back gutter of mine that I can’t reach because my ladder is too short. Quick as a flash, he cleaned mine, too… for a very reasonable price. (He was great to watch, too, in his wet shirt with his abs showing through, well-worn work boots… but I digress….:-))
This morning at the Metro, someone was staring dumbfounded at the farecard machine. Instead of laughing at “another lost tourist,” I just explained how to get a farecard. He smiled, said thanks, and was on his way.
While on the Metro, I gave a stern look to the jerk who always leaves his newspapers on the train. I have warned him before to pick up his garbage. Whenever I’m around and he knows I’m watching, he takes his papers with him when he leaves the train and puts them in a recycling bin. I figure he’s just lazy, but laziness drives me bats.
When I arrived at my office, I found a hand-written thank-you note (not an email!) from a colleague who said that she appreciated the information I had given her about navigating the maze of my (home) county’s bureaucracy. She finally got her sidewalk fixed. She had been trying to get it fixed for a year on her own without success, and got it fixed two weeks after speaking with me. (Actually, I referred her to her local elected official district office staff who interceded. That’s among the reasons why we have locally elected representatives — to help us in matters like this. While something small like a sidewalk repair probably won’t get the elected official’s attention, knowing whom on the official’s staff to talk to and who can provide constituent service is the magic knowledge here. Now you know.)
Little things mean a lot. Saying “thank you,” picking up trash, holding doors open, and smiling. If you see something you can do or needs to be done or should have been done… DO IT! The world needs more courtesy and civility, especially when times are so rough.
And there are some men with whom I have formed bonds of friendship through “BOL” who do this too, and have noticed that I try to be a nice guy… I want to give them a special shout-out of thanks for being the courteous, thoughtful, gentlemen that they are: my friends “AZ”, “UTBR”, Clay, David (Bamaboy), Maf, “StephenNC” … you guys know who you are, and you mean a great deal to me because you are such thoughtful and kind men. You make things special in your respective parts of the world. Thanks! (See me smile!)
H. Jackson Brown Jr. said, “Today, give a stranger one of your smiles. It might be the only sunshine he sees all day.”
