Category Archives: partners

My Valentine Makes Our Kitchen Hot!

Posted on by

Valentine’s Day hype and hoopla aside, I still get mushy about this day and the relationship with my man, my hunky Valentine.

Each day of the year I find at least one way to show my partner how much I love him. Not only sharing words, but through deeds which demonstrate my love for the man who is my best half, best friend, and who means the world to me. From the day we met almost 19 years ago until this very moment, I love him deeply.

What am I doing on Valentine’s Day for my man?

Well, considering that Valentine’s Day falls on a weekday, we actually began the celebration, so-to-speak, yesterday. Before dawn, I felt my partner awaken, so I snuggled closely. I rested my head on his broad, strong shoulder. Using a remote, I opened the curtains that cover our floor-to-ceiling windows. Together we looked out the bedroom window and watched the sun turn the grey bark of the trees to bright gold.

We watched the large flock of cardinals who live year-round in our forest dot the tree branches much like Christmas ornaments, while sharing the colorful bird viewing with dots of yellow, green, and blue finches, and bright orange and black Baltimore Orioles.

My partner’s squirrels — his joyful forest companions — were being particularly “squirrelly” yesterday. They would run up-the-tree then down-the-tree then up-the-tree so fast, it was exhausting just to watch them! We laughed at watching the squirrels play “catch-me-if-you-can” and when I said that, my partner got playful. ‘nuf said.

I got up, put on my side-laced leather jeans with a comfy flannel shirt, along with my comfy full quill ostrich (foot) Chippewa harness boots. (Photo here taken later in the day, but illustrates the outfit.) I prepared a great breakfast of homemade waffles, fresh fruit, and a little bit of pancetta (which is unfortunately very high in sodium, so I have to limit it for my partner). Freshly squeezed carrot juice (yeah, another diet modification that my partner requires) completed the meal. (I had orange juice; I can’t fathom the taste of carrot juice.)

Later that morning, the doorbell rang. Standing on the front porch was a cute little guy with a big bouquet of flowers for me. I was non-plussed. I turned to my partner, and he was standing behind me, beaming at my delight with his gift. What a lucky man I am to be in love and to be loved by my best friend.

I had gotten my partner something completely different for Valentine’s Day. Many years ago, I had worked for several months in Columbia (South America) and while I was there, I purchased a very fine quality emerald. (Columbia is known for its emerald mining.) I found the jewel a few weeks ago when I was rummaging through my safe deposit box. I had forgotten about it. Anyway, I had the emerald set into a beautiful gold tie clasp. I gave this gift to my partner. He loved it!

By noon, I was doing my rounds of taking my five lovely ladies grocery shopping, which I do every Sunday. Yeah, there I am, in a leather jacket and jeans, escorting septua- and octogenerians throughout a grocery store, then carrying their bags of goodies for them inside their respective homes. Leather in public? No.big.deal.

When I arrived home, I returned to enjoying my partner’s company. On cold winter days especially, my partner and I love to create food. This time, we made pasta — homemade ravioli. It takes hours to do, and is an enjoyable activity in our large and spacious kitchen.

My partner enjoys helping me in the kitchen, but is such a distraction! Man, I almost ran my fingers through the pasta roller with him being all studly like that! He still has medical problems, but as you can see from this photo, he remains a hot man who heats up my kitchen without the stove even having to be on! Woof!

So what will I do tomorrow on “actual” Valentine’s Day? Really, not much. I have already given my partner his card and present. He has to go to work, and so do I. I will drive him to the Metro station, and hopefully he will be wearing his nice tie clasp with the suit he usually wears to work. I will go to work, work all day, then pick up my partner when he returns. Prepare a nice dinner (perhaps we will have steak)… and cuddle up with the man I love.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Life is short: show those you love how you love them.

Yucky Weather Rules Out Cowboy Boots

Posted on by

Yesterday, Saturday, the weather was particularly “yucky” — cold rain, with a little bit of heavy, wet snow. Not a real good day for a wedding, dress clothes, and leather-soled cowboy boots, so I made a last-minute boot change….

Because the sidewalks and streets were slick, and also since I am prone to tripping over a blade of grass, I decided not to wear slick leather-soled dress cowboy boots with my suit to attend the wedding. Instead, I pulled on my dress instep Dehner boots that have Vibram lug soles. With pants over them, they look so much like dress shoes that one of my cousins asked me point-blank, “have you resorted to wearing shoes now?” He knows that I do not wear shoes, and he was surprised that the boots I was wearing mimicked the appearance of good dress shoes. He was further shocked when I pulled up my pants leg to reveal how tall the boots were. (giggle.)

Since I skipped the wedding reception, I got home early in the afternoon, and accompanied my partner to see yet another medical specialist. My poor partner remains quite sick. He has lost 10 pounds, and didn’t need to lose that weight. We continue to pursue treatments to make him better. I have faith… pure faith… it will get better. It has to.

I also spent some time yesterday with a dear ol’ senior pal. This guy is someone with whom I occasionally meet along with some other senior pals ostensibly to play the game of Bocce. This is an Italian pastime. We don’t play as much as we talk, eat, and talk… but it’s a fun way for me to keep up on my Italian. Anyway, this ol’ pal called me on Friday to tell me that his wife died suddenly.

I rushed to his home on Friday afternoon and sat with him, listened to stories, and held his hand. He was so upset, but also in shock. I stayed with him until is daughter and four sons arrived. They live rather far away, but came as quickly as they could. I spent some more time with him yesterday, to let him know through actions and deeds that he is indeed loved. He’s a great man, and I am so sorry for his loss.

What did I wear to the doctor’s office and while visiting my senior pal? Lug-soled boots (Chippewa Firefighters) with a pair of leather jeans and a comfy flannel shirt. Anyone say anything? Nope…. NBD.

Saturday was a busy day for different reasons. Today, Sunday, promises some fun with my partner, to the degree he can tolerate it. I intend, as always, to…

…show the man I love how I love him.

Advocating for My Partner: Patience, Trial and Error

Posted on by

My partner has had an onslaught of various medical problems that began last November, and persist today. However, things are getting a little bit better. He is not fully recovered, nor may he ever be. But we are taking it one day at a time.

I shan’t bore you with all the details. But I do want to share some lessons that we learned that may help you, or someone you care about, in the future.
Continue reading →

My Man is My Priority

Posted on by

The Light of My Life, my partner, my best friend, my soulmate, my everything, has been seriously ill for over a month now. On top of some sort of neurological problem which occurs at random and is severe when it happens, he has a really bad cold which has persisted for more than a week. Something is really wrong. He has never had something like a cold last more than a few days, and seldom even gets one.

My partner and I are worried, and are at a loss about what to do. He has seen so many specialists that if there were stock in “doctors” and we owned just one share, we would be rich. He has gone through so many tests that he is glowing in the dark. All the tests, so far, are “inconclusive.”
Continue reading →

Positive Focus

Posted on by

So yeah, my last post on this blog was a bit of a downer and uncharacteristic of my usual nature in writing more positively and/or instructively. Sorry about that; nobody likes a gripey sourpuss, myself included. However, it is my blog, and it serves as a bit of a catharsis to write about how I am feeling.

I received some direct email messages as a result of that blog post, and I appreciate what my friends had to say in expressions of concern.

Where do we go from here?
Continue reading →

A Different Christmas

Posted on by

This year, everything is different. Priorities have changed, the feeling of being on pins and needles, tiptoeing on egg shells… all that. And more. Yep, this year, it is a different Christmas.

What is different?

My partner is seriously ill with a recently-developed disabling illness that cannot be treated to make it go away or chase it into remission. His mother is staying with us, but that is for her benefit, not ours — so she will not be alone at Christmas. Actually, she is making things more difficult. Each time my partner has an outwardly visible spell of his disease, his mother breaks into tears — blaming herself and genetics for making her son so miserable.

So there I am, trying to help my partner by calming and reassuring him while I have to balance his mother’s behavior and calming her, too. She cannot understand that while her daughter’s arthritis may have a genetic link, her son’s chronic, debilitating, ailment has nothing to do with genetics. To her, everything is black-and-white — she did it, it’s her fault, and the world will end.

Yeah, this Christmas is different. No holiday cheer. No visits by family to our home. Nope, no way. My partner doesn’t want to see anyone for any reason. I don’t blame him; I understand.

But while this situation has shaken me to my core, I think, really, how fortunate we are … My partner has good health insurance, which pays some rather hefty bills for expensive tests and medical specialists. While dealing with the insurance provider is aggravating, I learned from helping my aunt and uncle in their last years of life with whom to ask to speak at the insurance company, what to ask for, and how to advocate for the proper care. That is a load I willingly take off my partner’s mind, as he should not have to deal with the shenanigans of his health insurance provider’s procedure-following drones.

I think how fortunate we are … that we have a comfortable home that we built (literally). My partner can be comfortable in different rooms — a quiet one in which to rest, a comfortable one to watch his serene backyard forest, a spacious eat-in kitchen in which he can have meals, and a comfortable basement media room where he can watch all his Tivo-recorded programs.

I think how fortunate we are … that my partner has someone willing, able, and wanting to help, and I am that someone. I don’t know how single people manage when they have a health crisis. (That’s why I volunteer to help widowed seniors so much… everybody needs somebody.)

I think how fortunate we are … my partner has longevity from his employer with ample sick leave. If he needed it, he can take off nine months. He also has short- and long-term disability insurance, too. That will defray the usage of his sick leave so that he could remain employed, receiving his full salary, yet not have to go to work for up to two full years. Then he can retire, if need be, and get a good pension. Ah, the benefits of staying with the same employer for 36 years.

I think how fortunate we are … we owe no debt. Being financially stable and sensible, we never spent money that we didn’t have. We did not take on debt that we couldn’t pay. We don’t have a car note, second mortgage, home equity line, or credit card debts carried month-to-month at exorbitant interest rates. What we own cannot be taken away from us through foreclosure or debt liens. There is tremendous relief in knowing that a major worry — financial problems — will not compound our current situation.

I think how fortunate we are … that I have a loving, caring, and thoughtful family who are right by my side, offering to do whatever I ask … or even if I don’t ask. They’re there. They love both of us, even as ornery as my partner gets when he isn’t feeling well. Having that family bedrock does wonders for my soul and sustains me during this trying time.

In this season of Christmas, I think seriously about my faith. My spirit is one of deep faith that keeps me going when the going is rough; keeps me focused on the positive, rather than dwell on the negative; keeps my spirits pleasant, regardless of outward forces to the contrary. This is one thing that is not different this Christmas: I still believe. I have faith. We will make this situation better.

Life is short: show those you love that you love them… and try to enjoy the holidays, whatever you celebrate.

Priority Number One

Posted on by

This time of year is always a challenge with events leading up to Christmas. Requests to attend parties, visits with family and friends who come to town to visit their family, and my ongoing focus on my senior pals, all have demands on a limited supply of time. And that’s not to mention decorating our house, which is something my partner truly enjoys as he likes to have our house looking cheery, particularly to brighten the spirits of his mother who spends Christmas with us.

However, I have had a wake-up call to the demands of my time and priorities for something far more critical…
Continue reading →

What "Woof" Means

Posted on by

The following photos are of my partner. These photos demonstrate what, in my opinion, is what “woof” means when one guy says it to another.

My partner is wearing a new pair of Mr. S leather jeans that he wanted and with which I presented him on his birthday yesterday. These jeans fit him perfectly. Woofity-woof-woof!

Photos posted with permission (smile)…

And just in case you landed on this blog honestly searching for what “woof” means, then I’ll answer, seriously — it is a call or a shout that one gay man says to another when he finds that other guy attractive. Usually the term is used in the leather or bear community, and is used toward masculine-looking guys.

Life is short: show those you love how you love them.

Milestone Birthday

Posted on by

Today is a milestone birthday for my beloved partner. I will be devoting the entire day to bringing joy to his life, and showing him how much I love him. I have a few tricks up my sleeve…

I will begin the morning with our usual routine of a slow-wake, warm snuggle, then give him a soothing massage.

I will prepare his favourite breakfast, home-made waffles (cialda), sausage, and fresh-squeezed orange juice. No coffee — neither he nor I drink the stuff.

I will distract him after breakfast, but be there to witness the fun when a hunky dude in a cop uniform comes by to bring him a lemon meringue pie. I arranged with a friend who is a professional singer and dancer to dress as a cop (including wearing a pair of my Dehner boots) and come over to “entertain” my partner by presenting him with a song, dance, and his absolute favorite sweet for his birthday, a lemon meringue pie. I baked the pie yesterday and snuck it over to my friend’s house, so he will bring it back to us through what I anticipate to be a very creative delivery method! LOL!

My partner wants me to take him to lunch at a new restaurant in the heart of Snoburbia — the western part of the county where we live. Sure… whatever he wants. It’s his special day!

I am trying not to overload his birthday, but I would not be surprised if some of my closest friends and siblings came by to wish him a happy birthday. We are not having a party — my partner hates noise, crowds, parties, and confusion. While I thrive on that kind of thing, my partner doesn’t. Since it is his special day, I have made it very clear with all potential visitors that we’re keeping it “low key.”

I will prepare a special meal for dinner that my partner requested — butcher-cut Angus beef steaks on the grill, with home-made potato wedges, green beans, and a side salad. Water to drink (we don’t drink alcohol, either), and after dinner, the lemon meringue pie.

After dinner, I plan to bring my partner into our basement media/leisure room, turn on some music that he likes, hold his hand, look deeply into his eyes, and…

Life is short: show those you love how you love them.

Heroes

Posted on by

Today, November 11, is known as Veteran’s Day in the U.S., Remembrance Day in Canada and the Commonwealth Nations, and Armistice Day in other countries. It recognizes the cessation of hostilities on the Western Front of World War I, which took effect at eleven o’clock in the morning—the “eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month” of 1918.

Today is a holiday, and in the U.S., it is used to recognize veterans of military service. I also use it as a day to recognize the heroes in my life, who protect and serve me, my neighbors, and residents of the community, county, state, and country where I live.

My heroes are…

… many who have served or currently serve with honor:

  • My father, who served valiantly in World War II in the U.S. Army in the European Theater.
  • My mother, who braved the home front. At the time my Dad was serving in the U.S. Army during WWII, she was raising five children. My mother has even more “hero honors” for raising 15 children in total, particularly as difficult as it was after my father died when I was 12 years old.
  • Nine uncles who also served in World War II. Thankfully, they all survived and returned home.
  • Four brothers who served in the U.S. Navy, Marines, Army, and Air Force, respectively.
  • My twin brother, J, who served our country with honor and distinction for 30 years.
  • Dozens of cousins who have also served in the U.S. Armed Forces, including two cousins serving in Afghanistan today. May they also return home safely to their wives and children.
  • One of my best friends who is a leader in our county’s Fire Department, and with whom I work closely on life-safety issues to keep our community and its residents — particularly seniors — safe.
  • Two cops with whom I serve on a community task force to deal with alternatives to gangs and gang violence and malicious destruction.
  • My partner, who in my eyes is a hero in how he cares for his aging mother, and me, too. What a trooper!
  • Many more, unnammed and not yet met, who through their public service, make our lives better, brighter, and safer each and every day.

I give a salute to my heroes, and to all who give their best to do their duty to serve, protect, and defend the freedoms we enjoy. Freedom isn’t free, and the costs paid to protect our freedoms are dear. Bless you for your service.

Life is short: pay tribute to those who have served or are serving through selfless spirit, commitment, and dedication.