Yes, another question entered into Google and that landed on my website.

Question: “what do cowboys wear under their jeans?”

Answer: underwear.

What kind — boxers or briefs?

Answer: yes.

Question: do cowboys ever wear jeans without underwear?

Answer: I don’t know. I haven’t checked. But when I have ridden horses, I have required all the padding I could get between the saddle and my butt. I figure the same is true with cowboys. Underwear is a good choice. But you’ll have to check for yourself, guys.

Also, remember, most cowboys wear jeans over boots, so you can say, in a way, that they wear boots “under” their jeans, too.

Life is short: ubi sub sub ubi (always wear underwear — a Latin proverb LOL!)

Duhhh… no, on a rhinoceros.

I just had to laugh at this google search that ended up on my blog. This question can be taken a number of ways:

• Can I wear cowboy boots…: yes, you can. The question is, do you want to?

• Umm… “on” a horse, or while riding a horse?

• can you, personally, wear cowboy boots, even though you are not a cowboy? Or may only real cowboys wear cowboy boots?

Sorry, I could go on, but you get the point. I will never cease to be amazed and amused by the things that people type into search engines that end up on my blog.

Life is short: wear boots! (“on” a horse, or while riding one, or not! LOL!)

I was scanning what entries into Google bring visitors to my website, and I saw a visitor from Calgary, Alberta, Canada, enter: “how to get really tight cowboy boots on.” I guess this strugglin’ cowboy is having some trouble as he prepares for the Calgary Stampede. The Stampede is a series of events (including a huge pro rodeo) held every year in Calgary. This year, the Stampede is July 9 – 18. My buddy Clay who lives in Calgary has told me a lot about it, and I have vowed one day to have him take me to it. But not this year, dang it.

Anyway, back to the question: how do you get really tight cowboy boots on?

Quick answer: you don’t. If the boots are so tight that you can’t pull them on, then they ain’t gonna fit. Period. End-of-story.

There is a long-told myth about placing your feet into plastic grocery bags, then sliding them into the boots. That may work when trying on new boots, but not for regular wear. Plastic doesn’t breathe. You put your feet into plastic bags and then into boots, and you’re asking for trouble. Your feet will bake and swell if you actually try to walk around with bags on your feet inside boots. If you struggled getting the boots on, you’ll practically have to cut them off when you’re ready to remove them. Don’t fall for that old trick — it really doesn’t work.

If the boots are only slightly tight and are made of all leather, it is possible to have a cobbler stretch them. But a cobbler can do only so much, like 3/8″ (1cm) max, and it takes weeks to do it right. Boot stretching can’t be done overnight. If your boots need more of a stretch than 1cm, then you just have to face it: wear another pair of boots. Tight boots cannot be stretched much.

By the way, it is also a myth that squeezing on tight boots and walking in them will stretch them. The boots may become more flexible at stress points, but they won’t stretch by wearing them.

Take it from a guy who has worn boots exclusively for more than 40 years, and who owns and wears a lot of cowboy boots. If the boots are too small, you need to get a larger size. I figure if you’re in Calgary for the Stampede, there are a lot of places to buy boots locally. Get a new pair. I’m sure they will look great.

Life is short: wear boots of the proper size.

“Why wear those in this heat?” … so remarked a guy in his 40s who was walking next to me from the parking lot toward the hospital which we both were entering to visit respective family (in my case, my aunt for whom I care.)

He was pointing to the jeans and cowboy boots I had on. He was wearing shorts and flip-flops.

He asked his question with a tone of incredulity and an emphasis on the word “those.” Yeah, it was well over 90°F (32°C), and the temperature was predicted to climb even more. He looked at my cowboy boots with a bit of of a sneer.

Instead of reacting negatively, I just said, “they’re comfortable, and don’t get hot.”

He continued to walk along next to me until we reached the door, where the sign said, “no flip-flops allowed for health reasons.” I gently pointed out the sign and said, “I have an extra pair of boots in my truck” and smiled back warmly.

He just shrugged and said, “maybe they won’t notice” and walked in the door. I wasn’t going to argue with him. I entered and said hello to the volunteer at the front desk. I knew her from some of my own volunteer work. She smiled, handed me a visitor’s pass, and asked me about my aunt. I briefly answered her then went to the elevator and up to my aunt’s floor.

When I got to my aunt’s room, I looked out the window, and saw Mr. “why wear those?” walking back toward his car. I guess they wouldn’t let him in.

Boots beat flip-flops, two – to – zero!

Life is short: wear boots!

One might think, “why does anyone want to know how to put on cowboy boots. I mean, you just sit down and pull them on, right?”

Yep, that’s right. However…

… not everyone can pull on cowboy boots all that easily. Recently, I received an email from a guy who is not accustomed to wearing boots. He bought a pair of boots via a reputable on-line merchant. He even got instructions on how to measure himself for boots before he placed the order. Trouble is, the vast majority of internet boot retailers only give instructions on how to measure the foot, not the calf.

The guy who wrote to me said that he received the boots, took them out of the box, pointed his toe into the boot and pulled … and pulled … and pulled, and the boot wouldn’t come on. He further described that the boot shaft (calf circumference) was too narrow.

He wrote to me for advice on what to do. Short story: I suggested that he return the boots and go with another brand, or better yet: custom boots made to his specific measurements.

The guy contacted some others for advice, and someone told him to use plastic grocery bags on each foot. Put his foot in a bag, then into the boots, then pull on. Well, that works for a few people, but only to get the boot on the leg. But the bag doesn’t just pull out once you get the boot on. So what do you have? Roasted ankle and foot! The plastic will not allow natural body heat to dissipate, nor sweat evaporate. Soon enough, your foot begins to heat up, sweat, and then … da da da dum … swell. Uh-oh! You could barely get the boot on, and now you’re foot is hot, sweaty, and swollen, so you won’t be able to pry the boot off with a crowbar! This is NOT a good idea! Don’t believe that old folklore. It doesn’t work!

If the shaft is slightly narrow — that is, you can get the boot on but it is a tight squeeze — then it may be possible for a cobbler to stretch the boot shafts for you to accommodate your leg. But most boots can only be stretched at most 3/8 of an inch. Sometimes that can help, but most often, it’s not enough.

Some cheap boots have narrower shafts that higher-quality boots. Check the manufacturer. I have found that Dan Post, some Tony Lama, some Justin, Nocona, Lucchese, and a few others have a slightly wider instep and calf, which are more forgiving to guys with muscular (or large) calves. Word of warning: if the boots cost less than US$140, expect narrow shafts and other manufacturing short-cuts which is why they are cheap, but also may result in the boots not fitting properly.

The best bet, overall, is not to give up on wearing cowboy boots, but rather, have them made custom to fit you.

Alternatively, try regular harness boots. While it may seem that the harness strap would make the instep tight, it does not. Harness boots generally have a wider instep and calf circumference, so that style of boot may fit you, while traditional 13″ cowboy boots would not.

It is best if you can go to a western store, or even a well-stocked motorcycle store, and try on a pair or two of different styles of boots. That’s really the only way to know if the boots will fit.

Life is short: wear boots!

I am pleased to say that the entire range of boots that I own are now wearable again. The swelling in my formerly broken ankle is negligible. Sure, I feel a little pain from time to time when rain is threatening, but not on an ongoing basis, and nothing that a couple aspirin can’t mask. However, I sure know what it means when people who have had broken bones refer to themselves as a “human weather barometer.” I tell ya’, earlier this week it rained, and my ankle hurt. When it’s sunny, it doesn’t.

I am happy that my cowboy boots are back on my feet, which look better with dress clothes that I wear to work.

Woo-hoo! Recovery progresses!