Hi, this is J, BHD’s twin brother. I have hijacked his blog again to write one of my occasional guest posts.

I am working on a volunteer project to assist people to re-establish their lives after living through social turmoil and political strife. I will not say where I am other than I am not on the continent of Africa. I guess I can also say I’m here because I speak the indigenous local language that I learned years ago on my “real job.”

I seldom have internet access, so that is why you have not seen comments on this blog’s posts since I began this assignment in May. I am now in a major city in this country for a series of meetings, and there is good internet access in the hotel — so here I am.

There is no reason for this post. Not really. It’s not about me, anyway. It is about how I got here. I credit that to my big lug of a brother (who you know as “BHD”) whose caring heart and actions to extend that caring to me and to others affected me deeply.

During my career, I traveled to many countries and saw things that no human should have to see. Suffering. Pain. Anxiety. Anguish. Malnutrition. Illness. Fear. Fright. Man’s inhumanity to Man is incredibly awful and frightening that anyone could do such things to anyone else — especially to children and families.

It always bothered me to see these things, and I felt helpless. I carried out my job and said the right things, wrote many memos and cables, and advocated internally for relief. But what happened was always the result of a painful political process between the United States and the affected countries — which often was tumultuous at best, and ineffective at worst.

The things I saw and the people I met haunted me. I was referred to therapists and other professionals to help me deal with the visions of horror that would pop into my head at the worst times, and while trying to sleep.

My brother was always there to listen, let me vent, hear me out, and hold me when I had to cry. I am one of those guys who always holds his emotions in check. A man doesn’t cry. But my brother intuitively knew that holding me, listening to me, and encouraging me to express my emotions was a path toward healing.

I guess you can say our “twin thing” worked. It’s weird, but every single time when my emotions were about to burst, the phone would ring and there would be my brother saying “what’s up, bro? I felt you calling again.” Then I would just let it all out. My brother did more for healing my emotions and mental health than any professional I saw during the course of my career.

There is no reason for this post. Not really. I keep saying that. But there is one huge reason why I love my big goofy, warm-hearted, faithfully spirited twin brother.

He knows me. He loves me unconditionally. He know my soul. He feels my spirit. He is my shining star and guiding light.

After I retired, my brother called and casually asked, “so now that you’ve got a little free time, what do you want to do to resolve, once and for all, your feelings about the people you saw and know are still hurting?”

He helped me review programs and activities of voluntary humanitarian organisations that are active in serving people who I saw and need assistance. He helped me vet “short-term do-gooders” from real providers of long-term caring service.

I selected one of those agencies, and went through a rather arduous interview and training process at their European Headquarters.

Now I can say that I am fulfilling my wishes to help. Truly help. And put my pain in a safe place by helping to relieve the suffering of others.

There is no reason for this post. Not really. Only to say that without my twin brother’s steadfast encouragement and support, I would be deviled by these demons for the rest of my life.

This work is not easy and not for the faint-of-heart. It is hard to be away from my wife and comfortable life at our home in Italy. It is very hard not to be in regular contact with those I love. But overall, what we’re doing here is well worth the cost.

There is no reason for this post. Not really.

As my brother always says, “show those you love how you love them.” I love you, bro.