Today, the date of September 11 (not “9/11”), marks a very dark date in the history of the United States, where cowardly terrorists caused pain, anguish, injuries, and deaths in 2001. I won’t let them win by describing what they did — we all know that. Instead, today, I will pay tribute to the countless thousands of responders, both in professional positions (fire, law enforcement, EMS) and those who jumped in voluntarily to alleviate suffering and help as best they could.

I spent six months after that dreadful day doing my part in providing relief, and that included much time in New York City. It’s one reason why I have no plans ever to return to NYC … too many painful memories which still haunt me today.

But there’s more to this day than memories of those attacks…

This date was the date in 1998 when I found my Mom had died. We had shared a joke via email that morning, but when she didn’t answer the phone later that evening, after many attempts over several hours, my partner and I rushed to her home and found that she had died suddenly of a cardiac arrest. Man, even after 14 years, that memory still hurts. But life goes on.

I know my Mom knows that I loved her, and I tried to show her every day how I cared — from doing little things like a daily phone call to getting her groceries, doing home repairs, or just sitting and chatting during a visit. I say often at the close of this blog, “life is short: show those you love how you love them” — and I mean it by saying that you should do things for those you love often because for whatever reason, they may not be here tomorrow. Saying, “I love you” is one thing, while doing something that shows your love is another. I have no regrets — my Mom always knew that she could count on me, and that I loved her.

Today, I’m up to more of that “showing I care” stuff. I will take my partner to another medical specialist for review of how his medications and supplements are (or are not) working. He has not been responding to the next round of treatments very well. He’s been having some severe side effects of new meds. He is anxious, worried, and still continues to be angry at being so sick for so long. It’s hard to live with someone who is angry most of the time. I have to remember, “it’s not me,” but when the yelling, screaming, and temper tantrums persist, I worry more — a lot more, but don’t respond in anger. That’s another way to show him how I love him. I let a lot slide off my back. I have faith, he WILL recover.

Focusing on my partner is all I will do today. I’m done with September 11 memorializing and am sick of watching a rehash of what happened on television. Today, I will prepare my partner’s favorite meals (on the current diet restrictions), and just hold his hand. I am not going to any meetings, memorials, wreath-layings, or riding my Harley in a tribute formation — all these activities to which I have been invited to participate — but declined because my priority remains my partner, and he needs me to be with him.

What are you doing to show those you love how you love them?

Life is short: live it well, and with a smile.