Optimism and Masculinity

I have written posts on this blog from time to time about various characteristics of a masculine man, and trying to diffuse wrongly-held stereotypes that all gay men are frilly-froo-froo queens with lispy high-pitched voices and limp wrists. Unfortunately, there are too many postings on the internet that portray that stereotype that it persists deeply among the less-educated and closed-minded among us.

Anyway, there is one behavioral trait that masculine men have about which I wish to write, and that is optimism. Masculine men are, for the most part, optimistic. Positive. Forward-looking.


I am not a psychologist, but I am an observer of people. I interact with a lot of people in my daily routine, both in person and on-line. I generally note that men who exhibit masculine behaviors are also optimistic. They say positive things. They smile and say kind words. They suggest good things to come in the future–even for people they don’t know.

On the other hand, I have observed that men who are more on the effeminate side of the curve also tend to be more pessimistic. They express worry or concern (in a negative way, such as “it could get worse” or “I hope I don’t get it!”) The say things that indicate fear — either fear of being “outed” or fear of others in a general way, such as someone fearing a bully in school and going out of his way to avoid interaction with that person.

This is by no means a scientific study. I’m sure there are many other men whose behaviors are opposite those that I have described above. I am only reflecting a snapshot of my daily interactions for about the past month.

It is interesting and intriguing to me that I see a link between masculinity and optimism. That is probably because there is a strong association between masculinity and being secure. If someone is secure in his self-perception, then he can be more optimistic, as well.

What are your thoughts? Leave a comment.

Life is short: be optimistic!

One thought on “Optimism and Masculinity

  1. Hello! Glad I stumbled on your blog (:

    You make a very interesting observation and I can kinda see what you mean. Moreso that more feminine people (men and women) tend to lean towards pessisim than I would say masculine men are optimistic. Although in general, they do seem pretty optimistic I suppose.

    I’ve noticed that masculine gay men seem to be pretty judgmental. Not in the ‘bitchy’ way, but rather that they exclude feminine men. There’s a strong mentality among masculine men that they’re the elite and feminine men aren’t “good enough” to be in their company whereas feminine men may try to express being “better” with their mouths and through bad mouthing others, aka being catty maybe as a way to express that they aren’t really accepted except for by other “undesirables.”

    I’m not sure which group I’d say is the more compassionate or empathetic. You would think feminine men/people, but that could just be with words. I’ve noticed that masculine men have tended to actually help me if I needed it and not just offer pretty words (which they hardly ever do lol).

    If masculine men are in fact more optimistic, i think it may have to do with the fact that they can pass for “straight” and are treated and respected like men and benefit from the privileges that come therefrom. I think…

    Which brings me to the last thing I’ll say: I don’t think it’s homosexuality that men are really uncomfortable with (because similar things seem to annoy homosexual masculine men) but femininity in males. Think about it!


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