Not being one to sit idle and mope in grief, even though I miss my husband very very much and think about him often, I have been keeping more that busy these last few weeks and will be for weeks and months to come.
In no specific order, I have…
- Completed the deal for purchase of my new Harley-Davidson Softail Slim. Parts have been ordered. When the bike arrives at the dealership, the parts will be installed whenever the Service Department can squeeze in the work. I will probably accept delivery during the first week of April. Can’t wait.
- After 10 weeks, I finally received the death certificates for my husband. They were significantly delayed, blamed on the pandemic. During the past week, I have been sending letters & forms to banks, brokerages, other providers of benefits and payments due me as his surviving Spouse. All of these providers require a death certificate, and most of them required an original with raised seal. I learned from helping my husband manage the estate of his mother that many death certificates are required. I ordered 20 and so far have had to send 12 of the originals with claims to providers.
- My attorney also arranged for the court to provide a Letter of Administration. Even though I can avoid full probate, there are some claims that require a “small estate court order.” This is the document that meets that need.
- I have completed required training, practicum, and took a long, grueling exam to obtain my full paramedic credential. I am waiting for results. Provided I pass, my medic license will be fully restored and I will continue to serve the community I love as a vaccinator for Covid-19. This gets me out and helps me deal with my grief by honoring my husband with community service, given gratefully and as a volunteer.
- You will note in the photo above that I shaved off the beard. Not only was it itchy, it prevented me from getting a good seal when wearing a medical mask, required for my volunteer work.
- Found my husband’s favorite hat! I thought it was lost and was sad. However, I opened a little-used closet yesterday to get a jacket right before leaving to take the paramedic exam, my husband’s spirit dropped the hat at my firefighter boot. I wore the hat and his ring on a chain around my neck for luck during the exam.
- I have been converting the pond that I built for my husband into a raised garden. This is what he asked me to do, and serve as a place to scatter some of his ashes. This has been hard, physical work, but well worth it. After the garden is prepared, I will install a fountain and “memorial rock”. Some of my siblings and my best friend are coming to my house on Monday for this garden transformation and scattering-of-ashes. Not being religious, I plan to keep this activity solemn, but not ceremonial. I will talk about who my husband was and how he created the park-like setting of our acre back yard and forest.
- There’s more, but in my old age, I can’t remember.
Now — to clean house! Company is coming on Monday and the house is a wreck!
Life is short: Keeping busy maintains a healthy path forward, one bootstep at a time.