A question like the one shown above drive occasional visitors to this blog. “Are there any normal masculine gay men?”
Hmmm… what’s “normal?” I wonder if the person asking the Internet this question has met masculine gay men who behave strangely, or what? I don’t know. Without context, I will refrain from over-analyzing the question.
Look, gay men are all different, as straight men are. Some are calm, cool, collected, have a sense of purpose, work for a living (or are retired), care for loved-ones, and “have a life.” Doesn’t matter, gay or straight.
It is hard not to let television shows, movies, and gazillions of websites affect one’s thoughts and judgments. Often, as far as “gay things” go, the flamboyant, radical, loud, frilly-froo-froo gay men are more visible in these media. Think about it — if a regular, down-to-earth guy with good style sense remodeled a room in someone’s home using moderate colors and casual furnishings — would he get as much attention compared with the gay guys who have TV shows that feature wild colors and oddball choices for furnishings and accessories? Not…
And I won’t go into what results when one enters anything related to being gay into an internet search. The vast majority of results demonstrate the extremes of gay culture.
Well, anyway, to answer this question: YES! There are “normal” masculine gay men. They don’t wear a sign; they don’t have websites or TV shows or blogs (for the most part, myself being an exception). I have already described where one will find masculine gay men — that is, not in typical places that gay people go to (bars and restaurants that cater to the LGBT community, and Pride events). Nope, you will find “normal” masculine gay men intermixed with the rest of the population — at church, in the grocery store, at the office, watching or playing sports, enjoying clubs and activities. Just anywhere. Trouble is, these guys blend in with anyone else, because they are secure in themselves and their masculinity.
Granted, some masculine-behaving gay men are living solidly in the closet. These guys have various reasons for not wanting other people to know about their sexual orientation. I will not judge. I’ve been there. I know what that is like and why some men make that choice. I’m glad, now, that I don’t have to live in the closet. As I often say, “those who know me know, but I don’t wave a flag or wear a sign.” My life and my business are my own, and I abhor quidnuncs.
Judging what is “normal” or not is a completely different issue. As I am not a shrink, I will refrain from further commentary (giggle.)
Previous blog posts that relate to this topic:
Life is short: relax and be who you are.