Okay, I am coming clean. I am admitting for the first time, publicly, that I have straight friends.
I sat my spouse down last night and told him the truth — the complete story — that his spouse of 21+ years has straight friends and that I have been in touch with them by email or even over lunch last Friday.
But don’t worry about it… just because some of my male friends are straight does not mean…
…that I will think about them sexually. No on-line shenanigans with suggestive comments or exchanges. No copying photos of my straight friends to look at and dream about from time to time.
I pledged myself to my spouse even before we married, and during our marriage ceremony, as well. “I take you to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, until death do us part.” There it is — forsaking all others.
My spouse need not worry that I engage in on-line and email dialogue with a boot buddy or two (or 3 or 4), with guys who write to me with questions about boots or leather, or who may have questions about community issues and arrange to have lunch to pick my brain about dealing with our County Council. He need not worry that a motorcop and I will have booted shenanigans, or that I would have dalliances with a guy at the fire house. Nope. I am married.
Naaah… he need not worry.
And he doesn’t.
I wrote what is above in the opposite of what a straight friend is thinking about regarding concerns that he thinks his wife may have.
Really, it is all about trust and open communication. My spouse completely trusts me. He knows that I communicate with other men — both gay and straight. I tell him about it; I don’t keep secrets.
However, at the end of the day, who am I coming home to? Who do I care for? Who do I snuggle with and be intimate? For whom do I shut the computer and don’t chat on the phone (or via text or other methods) when we’re together? Who has my complete and undivided attention?
My man, my lover, my best friend, my hunky husband, my spicy spouse. I look into his eyes and I still melt. I never thought myself worthy enough of being spousal material. Why would I ever come close to betraying the trust my best half has placed in me? And he knows that.
And all along, I have had straight friends and have managed to have a committed, trusting, relationship with one man for over 21 years.
Life is short: never think that having friends (of any sexual orientation) betrays the trust of your spouse.