My partner still remains variably ill, from feeling generally lousy to genuinely awful. He hasn’t been able to go to work for over two weeks now. I feel so badly about having him suffer this way, and let me tell ‘ya, it is very hard to feel so helpless (on both his part and my own.) I have faith that we will get through this. Truly… my faith sometimes is the only thing that keeps me from wallowing in despair.
Because my partner has been so sick, requiring devotion of my time and attention to him and his care above all else, I have had to make adjustments to my role with large events in which I am usually heavily involved and that are held in October and November.
The first weekend of October is when I have held a “senior safety day.” I have been doing this for 15 years now — a “community institution” at my leadership. I request and receive a large donation from a building supplies retailer, and use it to purchase items that help people be more safe in their homes — better lighting, new smoke alarms, CO detectors, batteries for these devices, grab bars, non-slip bath mats, and similar things. In the past, I spent weeks and weeks with a few key volunteers to visit each eligible senior’s home and complete a checklist (and insurance waiver) so we know what is required in each location. Then I organized a cadre of volunteers who, on the designated day, fanned out and installed what each senior’s checklist indicated was required.
This year, I knew that I would not have time to spend on the organizational, inspection, and installation activities. In years past, I have spent about 300 hours or so doing all those tasks. This year, instead, I recruited four senior pals to lead the effort. I met with them in June, and mentored them all along. But this year, instead of calling it “senior safety day,” we changed the name to “seniors helping seniors with safety”. My senior pals carried out the project on their own, excellently. While I still did the fundraising and fund management (since I retain control of a small non-profit organization that I established for this purpose), and met them for the big kick-off rally and donor thank-you on the designated day… I didn’t do much else but smile. Big smiles… and even a few tears to see “my baby” grow into its own community-based event that was led and managed excellently by others.
Honestly, I should have “turned over the reigns” years ago, but I enjoyed the direct level of involvement that I had. But I’ve learned, I don’t need to stay in charge and in control forever.
The second major activity that will require significant change this Fall is what we do for our senior’s Thanksgiving pot-luck bash. We will still have this event, but I don’t think my partner will be able to be part of it. He does not have the energy, stamina, or patience. More on that later….
Life is short: adjust as necessary.