These are lines from standard wedding vows, and is something that couples say to one another during a marriage ceremony. But these words apply just as well, and in my opinion, most directly, to my partner and me regardless of our official marriage status.

My partner remains sick with a very persistent infection that treatments so far have yet to resolve. For better or worse, I’m there….

You know, one of the things that really makes me angry is that some people think that because my partner is gay, and he has a prolonged infection, that he “must” be infected with HIV. I’m here to educate the less-informed that gay people can get “regular” infections, too. We get colds, flu, athlete’s foot … and straight people also get HIV. I’m not here to debate those controversial issues — only to say that the infection that my partner is suffering from has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that he’s gay. Ticks are equal-opportunity biters and transferrers of tick-borne illnesses.

We have studied a lot about what this illness is, and have discovered that it is not as well-known and understood as most other diseases. Some of the top people in the country who specialize in infectious disease research and who write treatment protocols still hold on to old-fashioned notions of “treat it with a 3-week course of antibiotics, and it’s over.” Man, I wish it were so simple.

We have learned that the organism that causes this illness grows very slowly. Because most antibiotics work by killing organisms when they reproduce, then if the organism reproduces slowly, it’s hard to kill with a few weeks of antibiotics. Further, we’ve learned that not all antibiotics work for this disease in certain people. It’s weird, but the organism that causes this disease literally “hides” in various parts of the body, and some antibiotics cannot reach those internal locations — like the central nervous system, pancreas, liver, or other organs.

Some of the organisms may be killed by antibiotics some of the time, but not all of the organisms immediately. This is why long-term antibiotic treatment is necessary, but not supported by the old-fashioned medical researchers (yet….)

My partner is now taking a triple-cocktail of antibiotics, which his doctor prescribed at our request. Yeah, I found through research what we thought would be the best approach, considering all he’s been through already — standard “go-to” oral antibiotic, intensive I.V.-pushed antibiotic — and now a combination taken orally. His doctor is very willing to work with us and try these approaches which are based on sound rationale, but not necessarily written, approved treatment protocols.

Yeah, I am a doctor, but in a very different way. Not an M.D., but a PhD, and in a field not related to medical matters. However, all of my study, research methods, and inquisitive nature has brought us on this path of treatment. Man, when this is all over, I should write a book. But first, when this is all over, I am taking my partner to Hawaii or Australia or Italy or Puerto Rico or somewhere — anywhere — to celebrate!

These treatments may work, or may not, but

for better or worse, in sickness and in health…

Life is short: show those you love how you love them.