Another internet search for “lifestyle of the gay guy” landed a visitor on this blog — to my earlier post titled, Gay “Lifestyle” vs. Sexual Orientation. That post laid it all out fairly well, and does not require repeating, so read it if you have not done so.
I just want to re-iterate that there is a huge difference between a “lifestyle” and being gay (homosexual, same-sex sexual orientation — whatever you want to call it.)
As every man is different, every gay man is different. I live a lifestyle of steadiness. I work for a living in a professional position; I care for my partner, family, and friends in various ways; I lead and participate in civic groups and activities for the betterment of the community where I live; I ride a Harley for fun as well as transportation; I am financially frugal (some may even call me “cheap”) and do not owe any debt; I wear boots and not shoes — and never wear sandals; I wear leather because I like it (though not in summer heat).
My partner and I are probably like many other gay couples, but because gay men like us usually don’t have blogs or websites, there isn’t much information about regular gay guys like us. Usually, guys like us are fairly quiet, and live a respectable life like any other couple — gay or straight.
There are other gay men whose actions and behaviors are more visible on the Internet, and thus give other people false impressions that all gay men live a lifestyle of debauchery. Impressions abound of gay guys flitting around from this hot restaurant to that new dance venue to the gay event in such-and-such a place. Yes, some gay guys do that. Some don’t. The lifestyle one chooses to lead is his choice.
We all know straight guys who do things that are problematic — like not being able to hold a job, have a stable relationship, engage in unlawful activities, or are so overextended financially that they are barely avoiding homelessness. Same thing applies to gay guys. Some are stable and contribute to their niche of society, and some are not.
These are all lifestyle issues — how one chooses to live. That has nothing to do with being gay or not. Seriously.
I do realize that my “lifestyle” in choosing to eat all of our meals at home, assiduously avoiding getting a smart phone, not traveling anywhere for vacation, and pretty much being a “home-body” is uncommon — but there are straight “home bodies” too. These decisions I have made which form the basis of my lifestyle have nothing to do with my sexual orientation.
So back to the topic — what is the lifestyle of a gay guy? Hmmm… look around. Ask yourself “what is my lifestyle?” and you will have your answer. If you’re straight, there are gay guys who live pretty much like you do. If you are gay, there are straight guys who live like you do, too. No differences.
Life is short: don’t let stereotypes and media hype cause you to be misinformed and use woefully inaccurate language.