Standing My Ground: No Bow Tie, No Tux, No Dress Shoes

I have a wonderful family, I really do. But one niece is insisting that since her son wants me to be an usher in his February wedding, that I must …

“…wear a tux, bow tie, and (horribly dorky) patent-leather shoes.” No exceptions. “You will wear what everyone else in the wedding party will wear.”

Suffice it to say, this won’t happen. Sure, I love my niece and Great Nephew. But I think my GN should have ushers in his wedding more close to his age. We have a 35-year age difference.

The only reason I was asked to be in the wedding in the first place is that the bride-to-be is having 14 — yes, 14! — attendants in her bridal party, so my GN felt that he had to match the number with his groomsmen. Asking me was an honor (and recognition of my relationship as a motorcycle riding instructor for my GN), but admittedly was only done to build up the groom’s party to match one-for-one with the bride.

This is going to be a HUGE event, with some 300 people on the guest list. Yowza!

Last night, I had a long conversation with my niece and her son. After she said what she said (about requiring a penguin suit) and saw the look of shock and horror on my face, we had a deeper conversation and came up with a resolution: I would not be insulted to be “uninvited” for service as a groomsman, and they asked another one of my brothers (who lives in a suit) to serve in that role. I was released and frankly, quite relieved.

Now… give me strength … I’ll put on a monkey suit with dress boots and go to the church service on the wedding day. I will also see family at pre-wedding parties. But consistent with my nature, my niece and GN know that I will skip the reception.

Why not go to the wedding reception? Heck, in this level of froo-froo wedding — the marriage ceremony is at 2:00pm, followed by having to drive 20 miles to a hotel for a “cocktail hour” before the real reception which does not begin until 7:00pm. The reception will go on late into the night.


I don’t drink; I don’t dance. Again, I can’t stand wedding receptions.

I have already gotten my GN a great gift — a new pair of motorcycle boots. (But those are for Christmas.) For his wedding, I will give them a generous check that he and his wife can spend on their honeymoon (to Europe) or after they settle into their new home as a married couple.

Life is short: stand your ground — in boots!

2 thoughts on “Standing My Ground: No Bow Tie, No Tux, No Dress Shoes

  1. Among the best side benefits of becoming a regular reader of this blog is that I’ve become exceptionally cognizant of boots and when and where they are being worn. I notice them at work, at the opera, while grocery shopping…everywhere. They are worn all the time in all type of circumstances. I’m not sure I would’ve have noted them otherwise. So I’m surprised to read of anyone being so insistent to the contrary (such as your niece). Glad this tale has a pleasant ending for you, BHD!

Comments are closed.