The relapse of the infection that my spouse has been fighting this week has produced highly variable symptoms, including vertigo, nausea, brain fog, and aphasia (unable to express words, though he knows them.)
Because of the room-spinning dizziness, he could not keep solid foods on his tummy. The brain fog — a cloud of non-comprehension — caused him to not be “in the present.” He could function physically, but not mentally. The combination of these symptoms is frightening.
I posted yesterday that my spouse was missing. Last night, however…
…I found him. Or shall I say, he found me.
When I arrived at home from work, I was expecting to find him in his room resting. You can imagine my surprise when I walked through the door and saw my spouse greeting me with a small bouquet of flowers that he picked from our garden. We had an intelligent conversation where it was obvious that the veil of brain fog was totally gone.
He told me that he had been eating the chicken soup that I had made him — and that he did! Two full quart jars of the soup were gone. Amazing.
I would like to give credit to the soup for lifting the brain fog, but I have to come clean — the soup improved hydration and nutrition, but it really was old traditional Western medicine antibiotics that are helping him beat this illness.
When my spouse was about at the worst of this awful roller coaster of illness in 2013, he was prescribed a combination of antibiotics over two-week intervals. His doctor and I would observe how he responded to the treatment, and adjust it with different antibiotics until my spouse’s symptoms abated.
I looked back at my meticulously-kept notes, some 400 pages in all, documenting everything that my spouse was told, tested, informed, and prescribed. My notes also indicated how my spouse was feeling, including daily (or hourly at times) blood pressure, temperature, respiration, skin color, mobility, and mental acuity.
Through these notes, I determined which combination of antibiotics were effective with this particular infection of the three infections that my spouse had simultaneously. It is sad, but real — my spouse has two drawers full of antibiotics left over from his past treatments. I counted — over 50 different antibiotics in all. And he was prescribed even more during his three-year course of treatment for these infections, but these other meds were consumed or discarded when they produced intolerable side-effects.
It took a few days, but apparently the combination of antibiotics is working, while the soup helps with three things: hydration, nutrition, and love.
Love?
Who else but a loving spouse would go shopping for ingredients to make soup when it is 100F (37C) outside? LOL…
We have not been able to see a doctor yet — long story, but availability is difficult. However, I was able to convince the appointment-maker for my spouse’s new primary physician to work him into the schedule on Monday due to a crisis situation. (Better than having to wait until the end of September for a “regular” appointment!)
My spouse is by no means over this, but I am relieved to see him looking better, regaining strength, and most of all, being able to talk to me. Nothing is more frightening than holding the hand of your beloved and look into his eyes and see a blank stare of non-recognition of place, time, or the one who believes that…
Life is short: show those you love how you love them.
You are so lucky to have each other and never forget this fact. I lost my partner of 43 years 3 years ago and my life has been a living hell. We did everything together. My spouse developed melanoma and the next four and a half years were a constant battle to try and save his life. There is not a day or night I do not think about him. I spent most of all out savings in a effort to save his life. I think many times it would of been merciful if we had died together. We met in college and were inseparable from that time forward. We met by total accident and from that day till he died were never separated. I have moved to Fort Worth and live in total isolation to the Gay world not by choice. Please take care of each other and never say anything you can’t take back. The best years of my life were with my spouse. We were married in Massachusetts one of the best thing I have ever done.
I am very sorry for your loss. I feel your grief in your message. I regret how much you are still hurting inside. Cherish your good memories and times together, as I do with my spouse each day. If you read more posts on this blog, you see that I end every post with “Life is short” and usually when speaking of my spouse, “show those you love how you love them.” I do that every day, and so does my spouse. Indeed, I am truly fortunate and know it.