When same-sex couples marry, there are various ways that they recognize their union in the names they use.

My fiance and I have talked about this matter and what names we will use after we marry. This came to our attention when I received Christmas cards addressed to “Myname and Hisname Smith” — implying that my fiance will change his last name to mine OR another card addressed to “Hisname and Myname Jones” — implying that I will take his last name.

What options are there and what have we decided?

Many (not all, but many) heterosexual couples still follow the old tradition of the woman taking the man’s last name. So Ms. Jones becomes Mrs. Smith when she marries Mr. Smith. Such change of last name is not an option nor a matter of easy law (without a formal judicial order) for same-sex couples.

Some same-sex couples hyphenate their last names, such as “Smith-Jones.” To us, that’s too British. Nope.

Some same-sex couples even come up with a combination name and legally change their name, such as “Jonesmith.” Both permutations of a combination of my last name and my fiance’s last name either sound like a strange alien from outer space, or an animal that didn’t make it on Noah’s Ark. Nope, not for us, either.

Most men do not change their last names when they marry. (Reference). We feel the same way, and had not even considered a name change when we marry.

Just call me Dr. Smith and my fiance Mr. Jones, both before and after we marry.

NBD.

Life is short: remain who you are.

N.B.: Surnames used in this blog post are not our own; used for examples only. My fiance and I both do not wish to use our real names on this side of the internet.