A Normal Gay

It’s June, Gay Pride Month… this month hasn’t been a big deal to me for a long time, as I am proud every month whether I am gay, a brother, an uncle, a friend, a biker/Harley rider, a civic leader, a helper, a caregiver, a neighbor, a husband… whatever.

However, I am bombarded with many messages related to “celebrating Gay Pride!” … like suddenly the world thinks everyone should celebrate… la la la, twirl and laugh… whatever.

Nothing took me more by surprise than a colleague coming up to me and saying,

…”our agency is having a Gay Pride presentation. You are a normal gay, will you be a panelist?”


She repeated, “well, you’re so normal. The Gay Pride Planning Committee would like to showcase employees who are regular people.”

Again… this request and message really needs a lot of work.

I was so flummoxed, I could not really come up with anything to say at the time. I just said, “I’m busy right now… I will talk to you later.”

Before I tell you what I said later after I regained my composure and had a chance to talk about it with my husband and my boss, let me ask — if you were approached this way to be asked to speak on a panel of presenters for a Gay Pride event and were told that the reason you were being asked to speak is because you were “a normal gay,” what would YOU say?

Comments are open. Honestly, I am curious to know your thoughts.

Life is short: be normal, or … whatever.

4 thoughts on “A Normal Gay

  1. First off, if this happened at my place of employment they would be assuming that I am gay as I have never disclosed that information and do not discuss my personal life with co workers. As a masculine man others do not usually suspect that I am gay.

    Second, if this request was made to me I would question what was meant by “Normal Gay”.

    As a side note I am not easily offended. This however, would not sit well with me.

    • Thanks for your comment. It is known where I work that I am married to a man, which implies also that I am gay. But like you, I am a masculine man and behave that way naturally. I don’t wave a rainbow flag or otherwise illustrate that I am gay at the office or at home. I am who I am.

  2. I hear what Larry is saying. I also get annoyed that Pride stuff turns into showcasing the most flaming, biggest flag-wavers who dress so “out there” that it does nothing but make the Right scream, “See. I told you so. Get the children in the car. Fast.” So having a “normal” person there would be a good thing.

  3. I had a very interesting experience when coming out to a lot of my coworkers. I got a lot of the standard “Oh wow, I would never have guessed that!”, or, “You don’t seem gay at all.” Usually these responses come with a very condescending tone. Yes, I am an average guy. I also just so happen to be gay. I like to take those comments and turn them into a learning experience for the people on the other end. Living in the rural South, it’s not something many have encountered, and I keep my cool, take what they say with a grain of salt, and politely tell them what’s wrong with saying things like that. I always make sure to never come off as angry about it.

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