For some unknown reason, lately I have had three contacts via messaging on websites where I have “BHD” placeholder profiles — BLUF, Recon, and even good ol’ hotboots. I have not participated on these sites actively for quite a while (last post on hotboots was a eulogy for my friend Mike McNamee, former owner of Stompers Boots).
However, lately I received suggestive…
…”invitations” to “meet up” with guys who were interested in and attracted to my boots and leather.
I make it very clear on all these profiles that I am married to my one and only man and I do not meet other men. I appreciate the offers to host me if I visit somewhere, but it ain’t gonna happen.
Two reasons: 1) more than anything, I am faithful to my husband and the foundation of our relationship: trust. I am a true believer in our marriage vows. 2) while I am generally an outgoing person, I do not enjoy socializing much any more, especially at night. I have never ever been a night owl. Bedtime comes earlier and earlier as I get older.
I will not repeat the actual wording of the messages that I have received out of consideration that this blog remains “G-rated,” and also to respect my pledge that I do not reveal information about anyone who contacts me due to respect and trust. I am a man of my word that I do not share any information shared with me in private on a public platform.
When I first established my website and was active on external websites that were oriented to men who shared interests in boots and leather, I received a number of messages suggesting “hook ups.” I learned quickly that while maintaining my own BHD identity on these sites was important (to prevent cyber-identity theft or misrepresentation), that I had to make it abundantly clear that I am NOT interested in meeting other men — for sex, or for “boot swapping,” or for that matter, anything else. I shut it down.
For many years now, these suggestive contacts diminished. It was only recently that I received three of them in the same number of days.
I could choose to be offended, like “can’t you read? How could you think of suggesting such a thing?” … but realized that it really isn’t their fault. They like what they see and said so.
Thus, I took these messages as flattery. Who would be interested in an old married fart like me? As I age, such messages are much more flattering to me now than they were a decade ago.
Giggle… thanks for reaching out. I am indeed flattered.
As I concentrate, however, on: caring for my spouse, family, and cadre of life-long and close friends; as I continue to work full-time in a demanding job; take lovely LOLITS grocery shopping and do handyman chores for them; continue to be the “old-sage civic leader emeritus”; maintain rental properties to provide affordable housing for community heroes; and squeeze in a little time to ride my Harley and maintain this website — I just do not have time to “meet up” and socialize.
Thanks for the flattery. I do appreciate it. But you’ll see me only on this-here interwebby thingie.
Life is short: be consistent between personal interactions and public profiles.