Hi, loyal blog readers. This post is a little delayed. Spouse is sick. Again. Always. Even for this very patient person, the ongoing complaints about chronic problems is taxing on my soul. We have seen over 60 specialists now (over four years), and had countless tests done. The results…

…are always inconclusive or negative. Yet, the Spouse continually complaints about head pounding, “rushing pressure in the head,” and other maladies. Nothing, absolutely nothing, can be found as to the source of the problem or the underlying cause. His problems are made worse when his mother needs more care and attention and frequent phone calls are so very difficult. It’s impossible to reason with anyone so set in her ways and with increasing issues of dementia.

So I just hold The Spouse’s hand and let him rant (about himself and his mother). I schedule more appointments with more specialists, take off work to take him there, have tests done, take off more time from work to get non-conclusive test results back, followed by no treatment. I understand that a doctor will not prescribe a treatment if the tests don’t find anything. But that makes Spouse more angry with shouts of “why don’t they care about me?” (Well, they do, but if not prescribing drugs for ghost problems is non-caring, then so be it.)

There is nothing much else I can do but continually spin my wheels in frustration while honoring our marriage vow, “in sickness and in health….”

Everything else in my life takes a back seat when The Spouse is so needy and in such distress.

My boss, though, is keenly sensitive and caring. He suggested (strongly) that we take a break from work this past Friday and go to downtown Washington, DC, and take a stroll among the masses to view our famous cherry trees.

While indeed it was crowded, somehow the experience was magical and spiritual and took me away from the burden of caregiving for a while to enjoy this visit, especially with The Boss who I like so much.

The Boss took me to lunch, then we strolled to the steps of the Jefferson Memorial where we sat down and he explained the experience of “hanami” (花見, “flower viewing”) the Japanese traditional custom of enjoying the transient beauty of flowers; flowers (“hana”) are in this case almost always referring to those of the cherry trees.

He came prepared — hot water in a thermos to make green tea (that he bought when he was in Japan a few months ago). Real teacups from Japan (where he was stationed for six years). Japanese cookies as well. He even knows me so well that when I said that I can’t drink tea (doesn’t work with my sensitive chronic illness of my own,) he whipped out a packet of hot cocoa and a stirrer. He said that drinking tea wasn’t required, but the tea ceremony was necessary to get fully into the hanami spirit.

Bless him. I truly needed this diversion. The Spouse requires my utmost attention and care. Seems like this will be our permanent reality for the rest of our lives.

I am grateful to have such caring friends and family who help take care of me while I take care of The Spouse (and his Mom, which is a different story!)

Life is short: be grateful for the caregivers who care for the caregiver. Also, enjoy some previews of photos I took (more will follow, if and whenever I have time to post them!):