I received an email the other day from someone who asked,

I am straight. I love leather. I have several leathers including two uniform shirts. Does this mean I am gay just because I like wearing BLUF gear and have a BLUF account?”

Good question. I discussed this with my spouse before replying. Here are some thoughts…

…from my perspective, wearing and enjoying leather is not the same thing as one’s sexual orientation. It is too easy, though, for these two issues to be confused with one another.

Images of gay men in leather are all over the internet and come up often when searching rather innocently, such as with words like “men in leather.”

Most straight guys do not post pictures of themselves in leather on the internet, while gay men (including myself) are all over the place. So search engine results give a false impression that only gay men like and wear leather.

Do not let search engine results (text or images) cause you to form inaccurate assumptions. (Remember: “assume” is spelled “ass-u-me”). Yes, gay men like and wear leather. Straight men do too, but do not post images or on social media about it.

Also, there remains a very strong aversion among a number of straight men of anything perceived to be a part of gay culture. So when they see pictures of gay men wearing leather, they (falsely) associate that only gay men wear leather. I can not tell you how many times that straight guys I know look at me wearing leather jeans, jacket, and boots and ask me if I am a relic from the Village People.

So back to the question that I was asked, “does it mean that I am gay just because I like wearing BLUF gear?”

My thoughts? No, not necessarily.

My spouse’s thoughts? Maybe.

My spouse’s opinion is that wearing leather may be a way that this guy is able to express his inner self and no longer repress or withhold his feelings or desires. That is, he may indeed have been born like I was with the gay genes, but have been forced into repressing his feelings about men due to the culture of his family and surroundings where he grew up.

An aside: I did not know that I was gay until way later in life (about age 23), yet before that, I distinctly remember liking leather. I drooled over a big brother’s leather jacket and boots and what his buddies were wearing. And at age 16 when an older brother’s friend showed up at our house on his big-ass Harley wearing beat-up engineer boots, leather jacket, and (oh my!) black leather chaps — I was captivated!

But just because I was attracted to a guy in (almost) full leather did not mean that I knew (at the time) that I was gay.

Suffice it to say — being gay is something a guy is born with. Acting on sexual desires and interests is quite something else.

Life is short: Wearing leather is a costume that represents a certain image a guy wants to project. That’s all. No more, no less.

P.S. (added 3 Oct. 2016): Just because I am gay and enjoy wearing leather does NOT mean that I am interested in meeting other men for sex. I am married and am monogamous. If you’re searching the ‘net for “interesting men,” visit another website.