Occasionally I post some mild rants on this blog about those second-to-worse ugly things called flip-flops. The worst when it comes to “ugly” are crocs, but flip-flops rank up there, especially because they are so prevalent.
While I firmly believe that no real man should ever wear flip-flops, there are places where flip-flops absolutely should never be worn. Where?
1. Building supplies retail stores — you know, those big orange, blue, or green stores that are today’s modern-age big-box hardware and lumber store? Those stores pose much danger to exposed feet. Case-in-point, I was at my local building supplies retail store last Friday evening (great time to shop there to avoid weekend crowds). I noticed a yuppie wearing shorts, latest “I ran a charity 5K” t-shirt, and those heinous flip-flops. He was wandering down the lumber aisle, looking at his stupidphone (of course), and was not watching where he was going. He bumped into a few boards that were on the floor. That “bump” caused other boards to fall down and onto his feet. Ouch! I saw a lot of blood. While another patron was giving first aid, I ran to notify store management who called 9-1-1.
I really wonder how often that happens. But #1 place NOT to wear those ugly non-protective things on your feet is in a building supplies store.
2. Mowing the lawn
This goes hand-in-foot with #1. When a neighbor mowing the lawn in flip-flops lost his foot when it was cut off in the middle (by the arch) when the lawnmower rolled back down a hill, I heard the screaming, ran to his aid, and have watched him through recovery, being fitted with a prosthesis, and finding a “new normal” for his future life. That didn’t need to happen. Really really sad. (I am not saying that if he were wearing boots that he would not have been injured, but I don’t think he would have had to have his foot amputated.)
3. Riding a motorcycle
Seriously… anyone foolish enough to wear shorts and flip-flops while operating a motorcycle should have his motorcycle license revoked and his bike sold at auction (with proceeds to benefit the bootless). But they don’t ask intelligence questions on the motorcycle license test… but they should.
Actually, to me as a biker, this really should be #1 place not to wear flip-flops.
4. In my view
‘nuf said. Flip-flops are detestingly ugly. Period.
5. In front of children
Kids watch adults, especially parents, very closely and mimic their behavior. Don’t get your kids started on flip-flops. You have a responsibility to demonstrate the right thing to do, which (to me) is to wear boots. But even if you can’t, won’t, or are afraid to wear boots, then wear sneakers if you must. But don’t get your kids started on that awful habit of flip-flop wearing. While it is not addictive, it still is nonetheless leading to poor health habits.
6. With a suit or suit pants.
See photo above. ‘nuf said.
Okay, so now you know where not to wear flip-flops. Are there places where you can or should wear them?
Ans: no, not really. The trash can would be most appropriate (provided Oscar doesn’t throw them back at you!)
Life is short: wear boots!
Aieeeeeee!!! I just got my pc back from the computer tech shop and that photo shows up on my monitor? I suppose the techs didn’t do such a good job after all! Well, seriously, I would add one very particular place not to wear flip-flops is in (on?) a metro/subway system. One cannot run down stairs with them on. When you do, you cause untold injury to the bones of your sole, not to mention endangering yourself and anyone in front of you as you come barreling down the stairs like a wildly out of control Humpty-Dumpty about to wipe out all and sundry in your way. And the possibility of getting them stuck in escalators rises immensely. There are so many studies out there detailing the dangers of wearing those things; I marvel so few have read them.