Bizzare Airports and Airline Incidents

On Saturday, I had flights from Kansas City to Charlotte, then from there to Baltimore-Washington International Airport, which is my preferred airport in the DC area. I was on USScareways, which once upon a time was a great airline to fly (not any more)… but I digress.

What they call an international airport in Kansas City qualifies, technically, since there is one non-stop a day to Toronto, Canada. But otherwise, this cheesy third-rate airport is outclassed by all the rest. Oh well, it’s small, easy to use, and not well-traveled so there are not crowds or long lines anywhere.

What was plain old dumb to me at this airport is that while I went through full screening by a metal detector and my luggage went through an x-ray — which was observed by four people no less — when it came time to load the plane, the gate agent said, “some of you will be asked to go through a ‘random’ additional screening.”

Their idea of “random” is, “we’re done with this one, who’s next in line?” Of course, I became “the lucky winner.” The kid who wanded me was probably all of 18. His partner was an older woman whose chatty nature, trying to calm my annoyance, even made me more annoyed. The best way to deal with such a situation is to smile and speak only when spoken to, even though what I wanted to say was something along the lines of “how many terrorist have you caught playing these games?” But I didn’t… however, I strongly suspect that they do this for no real reason. They haven’t caught anyone carrying anything onto an airplane that shouldn’t be carried — because he has already gone through the magnetometer, stupid! Arrggghhh… gimme a break.

I finally get on the blasted plane, and of course, all the overhead storage is taken by people who laughed as they walked past me onto the plane. I had to stick my bag way in the back, and then wait for everyone to get off the plane to retrieve it when we landed. But that was not really a problem, this time. I had a 1:20 layover, so I had a margin to accommodate a delay this time.

But wait, there’s more! At Charlotte, a large, spacious, first-class modern airport, I was people-watching. I rolled my eyes at two women who were wearing surgical masks. They’re afraid of catching the flu that’s making the hyper-scare news right now. What they really don’t understand is that masks keep your germs to you — not prevent you from breathing in viruses sneezed by other people. But don’t try to explain science to believers of media hype.

But wait! There’s even more! My flight to BWI was late to be boarded because of all things, a passenger on the previous flight got stuck in the aft bathroom and they had to break the door to get him out. Don’t ask me how that happened. And thank goodness Charlotte is a hub for USAir, so they had mechanics available who could fix or replace the bathroom door.

In all my millions of airline miles traveled, that was the most bizzare reason for an airline delay I have ever heard.

Oh well, I made it home to the arms of my man. That’s what’s most important.

Life is short: keep smiling, despite annoyances.

1 thought on “Bizzare Airports and Airline Incidents

  1. Are you sure you cleared the magneto meter thingy?

    Sir, we need to pat you down. As you walked through the metal scanner, the readings were over the top.As it turned out, the machine picked out the highly magnetic personality.


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