SIR in Leather

Okay, I admit… with some introspection and on getting reacquainted with a friend who is as much into leather as I am, it is confirmed that I am a “SIR” in the gay leatherworld.

I have always thought of myself as a masculine man. I have shunned characteristics of effeminate gay males. I respect that we are all different, and some people are more on the effeminate side than the type of man I am.

I have also learned more about what a “sub” is to a “SIR.” Through this in-person reacquaintance with a really nice guy who ticks many of my boxes, …

I am confirming again who I am as a gay man. Yes, call me, “SIR.”

This is in no way dismissing the deep and long relationship and marriage I had with my beloved husband. I am “re-emerging” into a new me. I am getting out more often. I see myself smiling. Mostly, I feel my self-confidence and faith-in-self has come back.

How did that happen? Honestly, it wasn’t easy and the process continues. My road to this point has been long. It has taken odd twists and turns. I have stumbled, fallen, and felt completely shattered.

With exceptional support from my family and close circle of friends, with the opportunity to serve my community in a meaningful and needed way, with daily meditation, and with counsel of a superb support group, I feel that my self-faith and self-confidence has been restored. Ol’ BHD has re-emerged.

A hot guy I’ve known since I gave him a ride on my Harley 13 years ago noticed. He contacted me to check in. We had a long lingering lunch two weeks ago. Then I treated him to dinner at my house recently.

My friend is more on the sub side, and I am enjoying learning more about myself as a SIR. It has been fun and rather hot to enjoy a more intimate relationship with a man since my only relationship with a man before this was with my husband (monogamously) since 1993. (And alone since he died in January 2021.)

Let me be clear — I am not dishonoring my husband’s memory. He is always with me in my heart. But I know that he would want me to be happy.

Since my only friends who live near me are straight, married, and at our age, have grandchildren, it has been quite lonely with no gay friends nearby. Or a man to… ahem… be intimate with.

I have gladly risen to the title of SIR. I kinda like it. So does leatherboy. Woof.

Life is short: enjoy a re-emergence into the sequel of my next movie.

One thought on “SIR in Leather

  1. BHD, I’m happy for you that you’re able to move forward into whatever life is going to be surprising you with and at the same time retain the warm and happy memories of your hubby. For anyone who has been through grief, that is usually the largest hurdle and most difficult of feats to master. For that alone, you most fully deserve to be called, “Sir”. May you find more happiness and fulfillment in the present and in the future. And of course, many happy rides for you as well!

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