Okay, I admit… with some introspection and on getting reacquainted with a friend who is as much into leather as I am, it is confirmed that I am a “SIR” in the gay leatherworld.

I have always thought of myself as a masculine man. I have shunned characteristics of effeminate gay males. I respect that we are all different, and some people are more on the effeminate side than the type of man I am.

I have also learned more about what a “sub” is to a “SIR.” Through this in-person reacquaintance with a really nice guy who ticks many of my boxes, …

I am confirming again who I am as a gay man. Yes, call me, “SIR.”

This is in no way dismissing the deep and long relationship and marriage I had with my beloved husband. I am “re-emerging” into a new me. I am getting out more often. I see myself smiling. Mostly, I feel my self-confidence and faith-in-self has come back.

How did that happen? Honestly, it wasn’t easy and the process continues. My road to this point has been long. It has taken odd twists and turns. I have stumbled, fallen, and felt completely shattered.

With exceptional support from my family and close circle of friends, with the opportunity to serve my community in a meaningful and needed way, with daily meditation, and with counsel of a superb support group, I feel that my self-faith and self-confidence has been restored. Ol’ BHD has re-emerged.

A hot guy I’ve known since I gave him a ride on my Harley 13 years ago noticed. He contacted me to check in. We had a long lingering lunch two weeks ago. Then I treated him to dinner at my house recently.

My friend is more on the sub side, and I am enjoying learning more about myself as a SIR. It has been fun and rather hot to enjoy a more intimate relationship with a man since my only relationship with a man before this was with my husband (monogamously) since 1993. (And alone since he died in January 2021.)

Let me be clear — I am not dishonoring my husband’s memory. He is always with me in my heart. But I know that he would want me to be happy.

Since my only friends who live near me are straight, married, and at our age, have grandchildren, it has been quite lonely with no gay friends nearby. Or a man to… ahem… be intimate with.

I have gladly risen to the title of SIR. I kinda like it. So does leatherboy. Woof.

Life is short: enjoy a re-emergence into the sequel of my next movie.