I realized it has been a long time since I updated this blog. Some guys have been checking on my via recon, which I seldom use, or email which I prefer.

While I am still in grief over the death of my husband, the pain is not as acute. I miss him every day and will for the rest of my life.

He wanted me to regain my life momentum, or sense of purpose if you will. He would not want me to mope around and be sad all the time.

And now that it is “leather weather,” I have been wearing boots and leather again (when not on official assignment in my medic uniform). Yay… old me (somewhat) is back.

Here is an update on how I am …

I still fondly relive great memories of a fantastic motorcycle adventure which I call “Crazy-Awesome Adventure II.” I keep in touch frequently with my buddy “S” who went with me and led all the way.

That was a major accomplishment which I will not repeat. Don’t get me wrong — I loved it — but neither “S” or I have the energy or stamina to do something like that again.

Here at home, I have been keeping myself quite busy–

• serving as a medic, administering Covid-19 vaccinations, boosters, and even flu shots. To date, I have administered over 40,000 vaccinations. I am not done yet, even though the county where I live has reached 99% vaccinated status of all eligible residents.
• serving as a field medic, which means riding on a medic unit on occasional shifts on an ad-hoc, fill-in basis, to maintain my license. I enjoy the camaraderie of my fellow medic brethren (though I wish they would not bury their heads in their sillyphones!)
• I meditate every day at dawn. Calms and centers me, and naturally lowers my blood pressure.
• I still take a few “senior pals” grocery shopping weekly. I love that we’re all vaccinated and do that again like we used to.
• I prepare and eat meals at home, using all of the features and equipment in my chef’s kitchen which I love. No worries, I eat well!
• I have hosted dinner for some close friends. It has been great to cook again for more than just one.
• I continue to participate in a weekly support group for bereaved spouses which helps a great deal.



• I have been working a lot on a major construction project for my home, closing in a space under my new deck to create a three-season room. It is almost complete and I am very happy with the results. My husband would be proud of how I have achieved his vision.
• I live on an acre of forested land, so I always have something to do in the back, from weeding, planting or moving tree saplings, clearing overgrowth, and taking care of some storm damage (downed limbs.) I like this work, though I pace myself.
• My front yard has been transformed into a showplace. Many of my neighbors have stopped by to pay compliments.
• I am still active with my (former) profession through volunteering on committees of my professional association as well as serving as Chair of a major advisory committee at my former employer. We just completed a huge report that will go to very high levels of the country’s leadership. I am proud to have played a role to get that written and completed. This was a huuuugggge accomplishment!
• I take time to keep up with my large and wonderful family who continue to check in on me very frequently, “Zoom bomb” me often, and visit. I am so blessed to have a family who love and care for me.



• Not to be outdone by “the fam,” my life-long friends in the community where I grew up, some of whom I have known my entire life (and some less, but still quite close), keep in regular contact. They lighten my load in many ways for which I am truly grateful.
• I organized and “mc’d” the retirement party for my best friend who got me started in the EMS field. He (finally) retired after 40 years of service. I thought he would have a cardiac arrest when he saw me in a suit at his party. He knows that in my past, I was not a suit guy, but I wasn’t going to wear raggedy jeans and dirty cowboy boots at a function where top leaders of our county were present. Actually, wearing a suit and dress boots was kinda fun.

What is not on the list is socializing or meeting new people.

I admit, I had grown accustomed to living with my husband who was the world’s number one recluse. He hated socializing and we were happy to stay at home. Last time we went out, such as to a gay bar, was in the mid-2000s. Long time.

But I have made it rather clear — I am not a night person. Never was. I rise each day around 4am and go to bed about 8:30pm. I have been on that schedule for >50 years, and even in retirement — not having to get up to be the first in the office — I still am. Generally, that biorhythm does not conform well to most anyone’s social calendar. And for gay bars (if they still exist), even worse.

Further, I live in the suburbs (where I grew up and built my home) which means that if I were seeking a social nightlife, I would have to go into the city. I hate (I know, strong word but selected on purpose) — the city of Washington because they have made it incredibly difficult to drive, park, or use public transportation. So… nahhh… not going into the city.

I am fortunate that I have a lot of friends who live nearby and continue to keep me engaged. I’ve attended cookouts, bonfires, and have gone on some motorcycle rides. I am fine with that, and appreciate that my friends look after me.

Also — I am a guy who happens to be gay. Not a “gay” who happens to be a guy. All of my local friends are straight and most are married. No biggie — I am the community leader, medic, motorcycle rider, friendly guy who can repair and build things.

Long-time readers may be aware that I used to host a large Thanksgiving “Feastival” where local seniors were invited to a buffet-style pot-luck dinner. However, with Covid — even though all of us are fully vaccinated — none of my friends want to gather in large groups, especially while not wearing a mask (to eat.)

Instead, I will volunteer to work a full 12-hour medic shift in two six-hour segments on Thanksgiving (U.S., 25 November) to give two younger medics without seniority time off to be with their families. Win-win, if you ask me. I will be productively useful and help out some younger guys with families so they can enjoy the holiday.

In December, I will fly to my favorite island in the Caribbean to honor my husband’s last wishes. I’ll be there for a month. More about that later.

All-in-all, I am doing okay. I miss my husband terribly, but I will move forward, one boot step at a time.

Life is short: be positively productive in your husband’s honor.