One may think that with The Spouse at his Mom’s and me back at the ranch alone, it would be very quiet. Not the case. Why?

… I receive at least four phone calls a day from The Spouse reporting incremental progress on finding reliable and responsible caregivers for his Mom, and some pleas for help.


As his Mom’s nutrition and hydration improve, she is more forcefully resisting any form of change. She does not want to have someone at her house every day, despite her admission just a week ago that she is frightened to be alone.

She doesn’t want anyone around who is different and who she does not know. Poor thing, she is afraid and her slow dementia decline proves my point that she needs more attention.

But she yells, screams, and resists. Spouse is really having trouble dealing with his mother’s emotional tirades. His health condition is fragile, and he is incapable of being patient with these outbursts of anger. So far, he is not yelling back, but it is very hard for him to deal with.

He is counting the hours and minutes until I arrive to pick him up to bring him back home to some peace and quiet. But he knows in his heart that until daily caregiving is lined up, he can’t leave.

As we have muttered to each other, “È impossibile per trovare il buon aiuto questi giorni.” You figure that out.

The challenge, really, is that there are very few people willing to work as a caregiver placed by an agency, and even fewer willing to work in the decrepit little borough where M.I.L. lives.

So I do what I do… listen, listen, listen. Letting him vent and release frustration is about all I can do. (However, I am handling the official negligence case about the previous caregiving agency.)

Life is short: have strength. Caring for aging parents is difficult. I extend my deep appreciation to all readers who do this for their parents and elderly loved-ones.

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About BHD

I am an average middle-aged biker who lives in the greater suburban sprawl of the Maryland suburbs north and west of Washington, DC, USA.

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