{"id":949,"date":"2010-10-08T04:00:00","date_gmt":"2010-10-08T08:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bootedmanblog.com\/?p=949"},"modified":"2019-03-08T06:35:28","modified_gmt":"2019-03-08T11:35:28","slug":"homophobia-hurts-straight-men-too","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bootedmanblog.com\/?p=949","title":{"rendered":"Homophobia Hurts Straight Men, Too"},"content":{"rendered":"

I thank my friend Kevin for pointing out the following opinion piece in a recent edition of The Christian Science Monitor<\/i> whose title is:  “Homophobia Hurts Straight Men, Too.”  The full article is here.<\/span><\/p>\n

The main point of the article is made at the top, where it says, “men rarely sustain intimate, long-standing friendships with other males after childhood. And the reason might surprise you: According to a large body of research, they\u2019re afraid of being seen as gay.”<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

The article describes a time, not that long ago, where it wasn’t strange or uncommon for adult men to enjoy physical closeness: a hug, holding one another with arms around shoulders, etc.  But not today.<\/span><\/p>\n

Today, you can barely shake another guy’s hand before he steps back to establish a large physical distance from you.  It saddens me that men have distanced themselves physically and emotionally from each other for about the past three decades — for fear of being labeled as gay.<\/span><\/p>\n

The article further demonstrates how name-calling from school carries into adult life.  In school, kids call each other all sorts of names.  But none are intended to be as hurtful as being called “gay, queer, or fag.”  The expression, “that’s so gay” refers to actions or behaviors — anywhere from wearing jeans tucked into cowboy boots to having another guy ride as a passenger on a motorcycle<\/a> operated by a guy.<\/span><\/p>\n

A paragraph in the middle of the opinion piece spoke directly to this matter.  It said, “But to fight intolerance against gay boys, we also need to acknowledge its toll on straights \u2013 and our entire culture. Homophobia hurts all of our boys, by driving a wedge between them. Sharing your deepest feelings with another man? That\u2019s so . . . gay. Or so we\u2019ve been taught.”<\/i> <\/span><\/p>\n

That’s what bothers me a lot about the straight guys I know.  I sense that they would like<\/i> to be more open and demonstrate greater sensitivity, but society has taught them through homophobia to back off, clam up, and “be a man” by being the strong silent type.  <\/span><\/p>\n

Oh cripes, gimme a break.  Guys have feelings too, and should show them (besides losing one’s temper.)<\/span><\/p>\n

The summary of the article is so true, and telling:  “And you can hear the message still, at any school or playground, where they call each other homo, fag, or queer. That hurts the gay kids most of all, as the awful death of Tyler Clementi reminds us. But it hurts the rest of us, too, by limiting the ways that men can act and feel. And that\u2019s bad news for all American men, and for anyone \u2013 male or female \u2013 who loves them.”<\/i><\/span><\/p>\n

Come on, straight guys, GET OVER IT!  You can’t and won’t “become” gay by associating with other men who are gay, or by enjoying physical closeness with another guy beyond a handshake.  It’s okay, being gay isn’t a disease and isn’t contagious.  A boy is gay when he is born, as I was (though I didn’t realize it until adulthood.)<\/span><\/p>\n

Life is short:  get over your hangups, and enjoy close camaraderie with other guys! <\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I thank my friend Kevin for pointing out the following opinion piece in a recent edition of The Christian Science Monitor whose title is:  “Homophobia Hurts Straight Men, Too.”  The full article is here. The main point of the article … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-949","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-gay-issues"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bootedmanblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/949","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bootedmanblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bootedmanblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bootedmanblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bootedmanblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=949"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.bootedmanblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/949\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bootedmanblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=949"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bootedmanblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=949"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bootedmanblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=949"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}