{"id":9400,"date":"2015-03-11T04:00:42","date_gmt":"2015-03-11T08:00:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bootedmanblog.com\/?p=9400"},"modified":"2015-03-12T06:43:59","modified_gmt":"2015-03-12T10:43:59","slug":"a-leatherman-or-a-man-who-wears-leather","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bootedmanblog.com\/?p=9400","title":{"rendered":"A Leatherman or a Man Who Wears Leather?"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Langlitzmeonbike\"Someone with whom I am having an intriguing email dialogue asked me this question: <\/p>\n

I remember reading an old blog post of yours that mentioned that you had always worn leather for riding a motorcycle, and that therefore, no one suspected that you were a gay man into leather. When you finally wore full leather all the time, did you ever feel like you had a second coming out experience since it was admitting that you belong to a subculture within a subculture?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Excellent question! My response (after the jump):
\n
\n\"rp_Roadking55.jpg\"Yes, for almost 40 years, I have chosen to wear some form of leather, be it a simple vest, jacket, and\/or motorcycle chaps. Back when I first started riding a motorcycle, these were pretty much the only easily available leather garments around. (Not to mention boots, but boots are a completely different — yet related — story.)<\/p>\n

Key words: “easily available”<\/p>\n

\"BHD1984-01\"For a guy who was “discovering” leather and who did not know he was gay, choosing motorcycle leather gear was what I did. Period. <\/p>\n

Context: I began to ride a motorcycle regularly when I was 18 years old. I did not fully realize that I was gay (that is, “came out” to myself) until I was about 23. So for about 5 years, I had no known sexual orientation yet I liked leather. I liked how leather gear looked, how I felt while wearing it, how it protected me from cold & rain, and the self-image that wearing leather projected.<\/p>\n

When it finally dawned on me that I was gay, I still did not identify with a gay leather subculture. Back in those times, gay subcultures were completely unknown to me. I was among those who did not buy porn, hang out in bars, or otherwise “explore” my sexual identity. Really, from about the time I was 23 until I was 33, I kept my gay feelings to myself. I was too busy to do otherwise with my first post-graduate “real job”, rebuilding my first new-to-me house, and settling down in my community. I did not date anyone and I only socialized with large groups of friends.<\/p>\n

Then it all sort of changed when I was about 33 years old. I had settled into a routine at my job, I had earned all the college degrees I was going to earn, and I began to seek something more meaningful to me, relationship-wise.<\/p>\n

\"BHDR11\"Also about that time, I had visited San Francisco once or twice, and realized that there was a gay leather fetish subculture. I more fantasized about it than anything else, but I began — timidly — to explore other leather garments. I began with custom-fitted leather jeans, a long-sleeved leather shirt, then a Muir Cap (because I really liked the image — not because I had any fantasies of being a “leather Master.”) <\/p>\n

I discovered that other “more kinky” leather gear was available — for a price — but easy to get. I quickly learned that sales people in leather stores wanted your business and would not laugh at any question you asked. They answered all of my questions — as many and as ignorant as they sounded. I asked a LOT of questions, no matter how dopey they seemed. I learned a lot — more than I really wanted to know sometimes — about leather as well as about what men did while wearing or using certain leather gear.<\/p>\n

I also learned a lot by reading different magazines and — admittedly — by looking at some hard-core porn mags (easily found, once again, in SFO). I learned what intrigued me as well as what scared me to death. This is a G-rated blog, so I won’t describe that — just know that some “activities” that some leather-oriented men enjoy are absolutely activities that I would not. Period. I knew then (and know now) my limits.<\/p>\n

Also, by my mid-30s, I grew up. I realized that I could wear what I wanted to wear within reason. For example, I ain’t gonna wear codpiece jeans to work. I won’t wear chaps without pants while operating a motorcycle. I absolutely will not have any part of my body pierced or tattooed. (Fine for some people; not for me. I HATE needles!)<\/p>\n

But yeah, I could wear boots with a pair of leather pants and a leather shirt — i.e., “full leather” — out and about in the community when I went grocery shopping, visited family or friends, or even while attending some community meetings among neighbors and even elected officials — and no one said a thing. (Well, sometimes someone may have said something, but I don’t remember. Whatever they said was innocuous or I had a simple comeback: “Yeah, I like this gear. Isn’t it cool?”)<\/p>\n

I met the man I eventually married when I was 35. He also felt the same way about leather as I did. So when he was more interested in going out, we would “leather up” in some fetish wear and visit bars, clubs, and attend leather events like MAL or IML (once.) <\/p>\n

\"Chairmanblog\"But that was about “it” when it came to wearing fetish leather in public. Most of the time, my choices of leather to wear were more reserved — such as a leather shirt with denim jeans OR a flannel shirt with leather jeans. Some mild combination, but seldom “all leather all the time.” (Sorry, my friend who wrote to me — I may have given the wrong impression.)<\/p>\n

Yeah, I like to wear leather and I believe in using my investment. I wear leather regularly — but not necessarily everywhere, every day. <\/p>\n

\"RideLeader\"Since my spouse has pretty much retreated to being a homebody since his disability has become so severe, our choices of wearing fetish leather are reserved for “home use.” However, my “public use” of leather — motorcycle gear<\/a> — remains a regular choice that I make. <\/p>\n

Therefore, back to the subject of this post — I consider myself to be “a man who wears leather” rather than the gay subculture definition of a “leatherman.” As an old married fart, doing things that gay Leathermen do is not my choice. I am not judging them — they enjoy and do what they do. I ask that they not judge me for my choices equally.<\/p>\n

Life is short: be comfortable with your choices — and by all means, if you have leather garments, wear them!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Someone with whom I am having an intriguing email dialogue asked me this question: I remember reading an old blog post of yours that mentioned that you had always worn leather for riding a motorcycle, and that therefore, no one … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-9400","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-leather-lifestyle"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bootedmanblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9400","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bootedmanblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bootedmanblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bootedmanblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bootedmanblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=9400"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.bootedmanblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/9400\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bootedmanblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=9400"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bootedmanblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=9400"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bootedmanblog.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=9400"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}