I have mentioned before that I prefer to call the man I married my spouse, as does he. We exchange email throughout the day, and always close with, “I love you, Spouse!” I refer to him on this blog by that term, too.<\/p>\n
However, there are places and times when referring to him as my husband is an important or strategic choice of wording. Here are some examples:
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\n1. Healthcare providers<\/p>\n
In the past when advocating for my spouse’s healthcare needs, sometimes I have had to fax the provider a HIPAA release form, or even a copy of our Power of Attorney, to show them that I am authorized to receive information about his health situation, test results, or other medical information. <\/p>\n
However, I learned after we married that the HIPAA barriers to advocacy — that is, provisions of U.S. Law that prohibit healthcare providers from sharing medical information with anyone without explicit consent — go away when you refer to your spouse as your husband. There is something about a reference to a husband (or wife) that releases the healthcare provider from self-imposed restrictions.<\/p>\n
I never knew that, but I asked several of my siblings about it, and they all said that they never had a problem discussing medical information about their respective husbands or wives with providers. They never knew it was a problem.<\/p>\n
A case in point: yesterday I was making an appointment for my spouse with a new healthcare provider, and the receptionist at first questioned why I was making the appointment and not the patient. I explained that I have to drive him to the doctor’s office, so my schedule governs selecting the appointment time so I can fit it in with my work schedule. <\/p>\n
The receptionist then said, “we still need to have the patient make the appointment.” To which I said, “look, he’s my husband. He isn’t well and he asked me to handle this matter for him.”<\/p>\n
The response was unexpected, “oh, okay, he’s your husband. Is an appointment at [time] on [date] okay?”<\/p>\n
… no questions, no barriers, no drama. Just what I needed. And all because I called him my husband.<\/p>\n
2. In public testimony<\/p>\n
Twice in the last month, I briefly testified before our County Council and also before our Planning Board about different matters. But in each case, it involved a bit of a review about land titling issues. Each time, I referred to the title situation as “with my husband as tenants by the entirety<\/a>” and each respective body politic understood that husband & husband are treated under the law the same as husband & wife. <\/p>\n Funny, it was they who converted the term they use in revised laws to “spouse” to use a gender-neutral term, but my testimony made more of an impact when I referred to my spouse as “my husband.”<\/p>\n 3. With selected bikers<\/p>\n I ride my Harley with an organized riding club. The vast majority of the men and women who are active in the club are open-minded people who think of me as a fellow biker and contributor to the club’s success as an organization by serving as an officer.<\/p>\n However, there are a few diehards who still have trouble wrapping their mind around the fact that gay men can even ride a motorcycle, and some of those gay men can actually be married to a same-sex partner. <\/p>\n So during casual conversation, such as at a lunch stop on a ride or before a meeting starts, we’re talking about the usual stuff — our lives, things we are doing, what we may be planning for a future ride, and so forth. There are times when I strategically use the word “husband” as a part of a regular conversation to remind some of these people that same-sex marriage is part of their lives now. <\/p>\n Has the world ended? No. Have men married goats and engaged in more pedophilia? No. I have proved by how I live my life that nothing has changed and that the poppycock from the bible-thumping babbling buffoons is proved wrong — even if my spouse is a husband. <\/p>\n Life is short: love having a husband!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I have mentioned before that I prefer to call the man I married my spouse, as does he. We exchange email throughout the day, and always close with, “I love you, Spouse!” I refer to him on this blog by … Continue reading