While in San Francisco for one night — last Sunday — I arranged to have dinner with two good friends who live there — Larry of “hotboots.com” fame, and Ken, the owner of Stompers Boots. Both Larry and Ken invited their husbands, Bill and Walter, respectively, to join us.<\/p>\n
Yep, husbands. There I am, also a married man, with a ring on my finger indicating that I’m in the same relationship. <\/p>\n
What things to married gay men talk about?
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\n… same things that any other married couples talk about — life, concerns about family, and catch-up on the activities and interests of your visiting friend. <\/p>\n
Really, there are no differences at all between what gay and straight married couples talk about. And there shouldn’t be! However, I had one person write to me to ask “what kinds of things do gay married couples talk about?” — implying that our conversations would be different from the conversations of straight folk.<\/p>\n
We’re middle-aged, nearing- or fully retired men. We are settled with our spouses into a life we have made with each other. Just like any other couple, our lives have their moments, joys, challenges, and so forth. No different from anyone else.<\/p>\n
Come to think of it, we did not talk about anything gay-related, even though the restaurant where we were dining was in the heart of “the Castro” — the foundation of the “gayest” neighborhood in the City of San Francisco. We know we are gay. We are married. So what?<\/p>\n
The only “gay-thing” we talked about was observing a nice-looking young man arrive, dressed in head-to-boot leather. Tight leather. Well-built guy filled out his leathers “woofy-well.” I know that I was not the only married man at our table watching this dude walk by. But isn’t “man-watching” the same for a gay man as “woman-watching” is for a straight man? Our marriages reflect commitment to our spouses, but do not mean that we cannot appreciate seeing some eye candy every now and then. All guys do that; normal.<\/p>\n
As I thought about our dinner, I reflected, “man, isn’t this something, though. Here we are, married men, having dinner and enjoying life as any other couples would be doing — and not being treated any differently. Times have changed for much better and rather quickly.”<\/p>\n
Being “of that age” and also out of respect for my need to continue with adjusting to jet lag, we met for dinner early (6pm) and were done by 7:30, and for me — back to the hotel and off to bed. No play… no stray… no going to a bar… just to bed. I guess *that* is the difference for older married gay men — we poop out and do not party.<\/p>\n
Life is short: the normalcy of normal behavior and conversation is quite normal. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
While in San Francisco for one night — last Sunday — I arranged to have dinner with two good friends who live there — Larry of “hotboots.com” fame, and Ken, the owner of Stompers Boots. Both Larry and Ken invited … Continue reading