I have often mentioned on this blog how fortunate I feel to have a large, raucous, and very loving, supportive family. It hurts my heart to read or see stories about families disowning sons, siblings, or uncles who are gay. I know that it has been a journey, transition, or evolution — whatever you want to call it — for some of my family to understand that their son, brother, uncle, or cousin is gay… met a man… built a home and a life together… then married when legally permitted. <\/p>\n
What has been the family response to the news of our marriage (and practically, an elopement?)
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\nTheir response has been demonstrated by sending flowers, numerous phone calls, emails, and dozens of “likes” on Facebook about my status change to “married.” They know I am a big sucker for the old-fashioned method of receiving a card in the mail. I am personally very touched that we received a card from every.single.one of my siblings (all 14 of them) and all of my nieces and nephews — all 69 of them. Man, it’s better than Christmas!<\/p>\n
The expressions written in the cards and given by phone range from, “it’s about time you made him legal (giggle)” to “you have set a wonderful example of showing us how a caring and compassionate couple cares for the other,” to “we look up to you guys.” <\/p>\n
I even received some cards and calls from first cousins who are from a side of the family who hold the tenets and teachings of the Catholic religion closely. I can’t say they were gushing with joy, but to have some acknowledgment, anyway, that they wish us well was important for me to see. <\/p>\n
Without a doubt, my closest first cousins — my “cous-a-sis” (closest female first cousin in age who is as close as a sister) and the sons of my aunt<\/a> and uncle for whom I cared through the ends of their lives, were ecstatic. Calls, cards, and shouts of joy could be heard from Florida to New York to California.<\/p>\n Perhaps my Mom set the tone<\/a>, after going through her own learning curve when I came out to her<\/a> for her to accept then embrace my partner (now my spouse) in the year that she died. She selected my partner as the only “in-law” to be a pall bearer at her funeral. That was a tremendous statement, whose lessons were learned and adopted by my siblings. Never a question again after that — we are who we are and the family not only “accepts” us, but loves us. My heart remains filled with joy.<\/p>\n I wish it could be the same for other gay couples who marry. I know that is not true for all. I remain overjoyed with knowing that I can rely on a loving and caring family as the bedrock of support.<\/p>\n I can’t write a post about my family without acknowledging my twin brother. He knew I was gay before I did, and loved me just the same. Sure, we had our sibling arguments, but they never amounted to much. The love was always there. I was honored to serve as his Best Man when he married his lovely wife, and he was by my side when I married my man. He has always, always, always, shown his love in a million ways, and my spouse and I remain truly grateful, appreciative, and honored to have such a great guy in our lives.<\/p>\n Okay, enough gushing… back to boots in the next blog post.<\/p>\n Life is short: show those you love how you love them.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I have often mentioned on this blog how fortunate I feel to have a large, raucous, and very loving, supportive family. It hurts my heart to read or see stories about families disowning sons, siblings, or uncles who are gay. … Continue reading