This guest post was written by someone who wrote to me after reading my post about marrying my partner. He gave me permission to post his message on this blog.<\/i><\/p>\n
I read your blog about marrying your partner. Congratulations. I’m glad that will work for you. I also read your post about a low-key event–glad you’re doing it that way. I want to comment on my perspective of the difference between a same sex marriage and a same sex wedding.
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\nA marriage I can understand, in a way, though I would rather that same sex couples be able to obtain the same rights as regular married couples have by a civil union or equivalent — not calling it a “marriage.” I am among those who thinks that marriage should be for a man and a woman. But I am no legal scholar. I am chief of a fire department. What do I know about the fine legal lines between marriage and civil union — and whether you can have the same legal rights and tax benefits as I have in my marriage with my wife of 30 years?<\/p>\n
I think what bothers me most is a same-sex wedding. A wedding conjures up in my mind a sweet young woman in a white gown, and a nervous young man in a tux waiting at the alter of a church with a minister standing ready to hear wedding vows and bless the marriage.<\/p>\n
It makes me feel funny to imagine two men (or two women) involved in that. Especially in a church. I know, some churches accept and approve of gay weddings. The church that I have been going to for decades does not, and will not.<\/p>\n
So from my perspective — if you want to marry your partner who you have loved for as long as you have, then fine. Celebrate your newly-obtained legal rights. But don’t celebrate a “gay wedding” with all the fanfare it brings. That is what bothers me and many others I know.<\/p>\n
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\nBHD’s perspective<\/i><\/p>\n
While the above message sounds rather harsh, it comes from the heart of a man I have known and worked with for years. He tells it like it is. Doesn’t hold back. I value that in him. I will remain his friend, though I don’t expect to receive a wedding gift (smile.)<\/p>\n
To be honest, I personally am not fond of having a “wedding” — but for different reasons. I want attention to be on “us” and not on some ceremony. Honestly, I have felt the same way about man\/woman weddings when the wedding planning and its ornate decorations and functions get so carried away, the guests forget that they are there to celebrate two people who join in marriage, and not the flowers, decorations, reception venue, band, cake, and the like. <\/p>\n
My fiance and I are not planning a low-key event because we don’t want a “gay wedding” to fly in the face of those who never wanted us to be able to be married. We are not afraid or cowering in fear. We are having a marriage ceremony on the small side purely because that is our preference. We don’t want ancillary activities to take away from the fact that two people are joining in marriage. I also admit that my partner and I both are not the type of guys to go for frills and frolick. We’re just not like that.<\/p>\n
Life is short: get married, but a wedding isn’t required.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
This guest post was written by someone who wrote to me after reading my post about marrying my partner. He gave me permission to post his message on this blog. I read your blog about marrying your partner. Congratulations. I’m … Continue reading