I have said for many years that I am open and accepting of everyone — race, religion, sexual orientation, gender, age, and so forth. <\/p>\n
But I had to re-examine my opinion of myself when I realized that I was responding negatively to an invitation to attend another Spring social gala\/dinner fundraiser in the gay world for a worthy cause. This time, in New York City, with the cost of tickets at various levels ranging from US$175 to well over US$3,000.<\/p>\n
A friend (who is more on the level of acquaintance) sent me the invitation, saying, “I hope you guys will be there!” I rolled my eyes, and…
\n
\n…thought, “no friggin’ way, and I’m going to tell him why!”<\/p>\n
I began to write a long reply, explaining that I don’t stay up late (especially on weeknights), I hate to go to New York, my partner is ill, cannot travel, and hates social events in all forms, and topped it off with the fact that I think the event is overpriced (even though it is a fundraiser for a cause that I support) and that I can’t stand dressing up. Shirt, tie, suit… bleccchhh.<\/p>\n
I realized that my visceral rejection of my friend’s invitation was my being stubbornly opinionated and judgmental, and is the opposite of what I say that I am — open and accepting.<\/p>\n
Yeah, personally, I don’t like these kinds of events for all the reasons stated above, and probably many more. But my friend didn’t need to hear all that, and receive a boatload of rejection with an implication that I disapproved of him and the event.<\/p>\n
The event is fine, and is something that many LGBT-supporting organizations do, because they know that the majority of gay men and women enjoy social events, like to dress up, and demonstrate visible support of a worthy cause. While my partner and I do not find such events fun — we even would classify them as awful (for us) — I have to realize that we are the exception. And my taking exception to an innocent invitation was not fair.<\/p>\n
Thank goodness I re-read my message before I clicked on “send.” I deleted what I wrote originally and wrote back simply with, “thanks for your kind invitation. I’m sorry, we can’t make it.” That was it.<\/p>\n
My friend replied with, “sorry you and your partner won’t be able to join us. Thanks for letting me know.”<\/p>\n
That was it. No worries, no gay drama.<\/p>\n
They say that half the battle is realizing that the problem exists in the first place. My problem: being judgmental about events and activities that I do not enjoy. I have to work on being less judgmental and just go with the flow.<\/p>\n
Life is short: introspection isn’t such a bad thing, if it results in self-improvement.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I have said for many years that I am open and accepting of everyone — race, religion, sexual orientation, gender, age, and so forth. But I had to re-examine my opinion of myself when I realized that I was responding … Continue reading