![\"Ring\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bootedmanblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/07\/Ring-300x253.jpg?resize=300%2C253\")
Alas, just when I thought issues about same-sex marriage, particularly in my family, had quieted and had become non-issues, at a recent family gathering, someone to whom I am related (husband of a first cousin once removed) saw the ring on my left ring finger and asked, “when did you get married?”<\/p>\n
That question didn’t surprise me from this guy because I have not seen him in several years. I said that I married (BB, but given name) in April, 2013. <\/p>\n
The response was disquieting. He said,
\n
\n…”oh, you are with a guy. Then you’re not ‘married-married’.”<\/p>\n
Huh?<\/p>\n
I asked just that. “What do you mean?”<\/p>\n
He said, “well, if you are with a dude, you’re not really married. Not like me…” pointing to his wife and children.<\/p>\n
My blood pressure began to rise. I could hear the ringing in my ears. Many thoughts of what to say were running through my mind. But I know this side of my family and its ultraconservative background. Instead of fighting or lashing out, I said words to this effect:<\/p>\n
![\"MarriageCert\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.bootedmanblog.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/04\/MarriageCert-300x122.jpg?resize=300%2C122\")
“Yeah, I guess my state-issued marriage certificate signed by the Chief Judge of our County’s Circuit Court isn’t real. I guess the ways that BB cares for me, loves me, and has helped me recover from a recent severe injury doesn’t count. I presume that the title to our house as ‘tenants by the entirety’ is incorrect. I also assume that the love, patience, kindness, values, and consideration of us as one — one couple in a committed, loving relationship — is just a figment of our imagination. I also would not think that my lifestyle of service and commitment to my spouse, to others, and to my community doesn’t amount to anything, either. Married ‘dudes’ don’t do that, do they?”<\/p>\n
The guy just stood there and repeated the nay-saying hypocrisy and falsehoods that he has heard in his so-called “Christian” church. <\/p>\n
I knew that I wasn’t going to get anywhere arguing with this jerk, so I began to back away.<\/p>\n
That’s when I said as a parting shot, “listen, you have your narrow-minded opinions and have been brainwashed to believe what you say. I’m not going to argue. I’ll just take pity on you and continue to live my life as a MARRIED MAN and try to forgive you for your sins.”<\/p>\n
The guy just stammered, stuttered, spit and blathered. I walked away, got into my truck, and drove home. <\/p>\n
As soon as I arrived at home, I found my man — my spouse, my husband, my bestest mate — waiting for me. He asked, “how was the party?”<\/p>\n
I described how nice it was to see the guest of honor and his wife and pretty much left it at that. But my ever-intuitive spouse saw the look of sorrow and hurt in my eyes and asked me, “what happened?”<\/p>\n
I told him. He did not expect anything different. That is why he did not want to go to that family gathering (as well as the fact that he hates social events in general). We talked gently. But at the end of the day, he is the man who makes me whole, who completes me<\/a>, who loves me unconditionally, and who is the man to whom I am married. I content that my marriage is as much of a “marriage-marriage” as any other. ‘nuf said. This stuff still drives me nuts.<\/p>\n Life is short: show the non-believers what marriage really is.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Alas, just when I thought issues about same-sex marriage, particularly in my family, had quieted and had become non-issues, at a recent family gathering, someone to whom I am related (husband of a first cousin once removed) saw the ring … Continue reading