I have realized another milestone of maturity: I don’t always have to be right. It’s okay to not have all of the information or that others make slight errors in accuracy.<\/p>\n
Case in point…
\n
\nYesterday, a biker buddy saw me in the parking lot as I was preparing to leave a grocery store where I had stopped to pick up a few things on my way home from work. As I was packing up my Harley’s tourpak (like a trunk), my friend and I had this conversation:<\/p>\n
Friend: Good to see your bike back on the road. Didn’t you have it in the shop for service last week?<\/p>\n
Me: Yep. Some ghost of an electrical problem in the throttle that they couldn’t find, but hasn’t happened again.<\/p>\n
Friend: The throttle? That controls the flow of fuel to the engine. Did you mean the electronic control that adjusts the fuel flow?<\/p>\n
Me: (sigh…) … whatever…<\/p><\/blockquote>\n
Who really cares about the nuanced difference between the workings and definition of what a throttle does and Harley’s electronic control that they call a “throttle by wire?”<\/p>\n
There are some people who always have to be right. I say something at work and people around me know what I mean, but a couple people always feel it necessary to jump in and correct me if I didn’t say it exactly right or with pinpoint precision. There are professionals with whom I have discussions in on-line forums, and at least one of them always has to correct me if I did not quote the exact words from a colleague’s work. I even see this from time to time on the “boots on line” board — there are some guys who feel that they must correct others.<\/p>\n
Sure, it is one thing if someone says something egregiously wrong — like at a time in the past when I confused fibrinogen with collagen (fibers that compose leather) — that must be corrected. Someone sent me an email to explain what I was saying wrong. Though her approach was strong, her content was appropriate and I fixed my error.<\/p>\n
But it is quite something else to deal with people who insist on 1000% accuracy always, and if they consider you to be a competitor (higher position or authority, service, professional stature, academic credentials), then they feel as if they MUST let you and everyone else within earshot know two things: 1) they know what’s right, and 2) you are wrong.<\/p>\n
I look back on my life and realize that for about two decades, I was that guy. I was always, always, correcting people. I had bosses get frustrated with me for doing that, but I was so smug in thinking that “I’m right\/you’re wrong” that I did not realize the behavior was working against me. I thought I was earning respect for “knowing my stuff,” but in hindsight, I realize that I was losing respect of my peers and superiors because I was considered to be arrogant in always having to be right.<\/p>\n
I think, as humans, we tend to go through cycles like that. In my 30s and 40s, I felt that I had learned a thing or two. I had earned top-level academic degrees from prestigious institutions of higher learning. I had gained relevant and what I thought to be significant experience in my field. I received recognition by being invited as a speaker at a large number of conferences and meetings. <\/p>\n
But as I look back and talk to people who “knew me when,” they all have said that they like me better now than they did back then.<\/p>\n
Why? Interestingly, three of these long-term friends\/colleagues told me within the past week, “you are more relaxed. You don’t take yourself as seriously. You are fun to be around. I also know that if I say something that may not be exactly correct and you know it, you know what I am talking about and just let the discussion move on. You don’t grandstand or posture from a superior academic or professional position.”<\/p>\n
I guess now that I am in my 50s, I am more mature. I don’t always have to be right. People know that I know what I am doing and what I am talking about. And if I spot something that someone else says that is not quite right, I just let it go. Ya know, the sun still revolves around Pluto and nothing is worse for the wear the next morning.<\/p>\n
I differentiate slightly in my supervisory role when I have to guide, coach, train, and work with my subordinates. That’s different. But in general conversation, I no longer “have to be right” all the time, every time. And you know what? “Letting go” is quite refreshing! On top of that, people like me better.<\/p>\n
Life is short: relax and stop correcting others all the time. Plutonians will agree!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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