How Life Changes When The Spouse Is Always At Home

I have mentioned before that my spouse retired a year ago. He enjoys staying at home while I go off to work each weekday. He enjoys staying at home while I go help my senior pals or visit family on weekends. He enjoys staying at home while I ride my Harley with my buddies.

He enjoys staying at home… always.

How has this affected my life?

Not too much, but there are some things that I do not do any more since my spouse is always around.

Someone wrote to me to ask if I would create some new videos. I replied to say that my spouse does not like videos, and I cannot make any videos since my spouse is always at home.

My friend replied, “Hopefully one day you can do a video when [your spouse] is out of the house for a while…. :-)”

What my friend does not realize is that my spouse is never out of the house. Ever. He never leaves home unless I take him somewhere. Unfortunately, lately any out-of-the-house trips that my spouse has gone on with me have been to visit his doctor. My spouse is still suffering from symptoms of a relapse of his long-term illness. He is stable, but not well enough to go out on his own. He cannot drive because he gets random dizzy spells without warning.

But even if my spouse were well, like he was last summer, he only drove himself to the grocery or drug store to run errands. And that was it. My spouse has no friends, no family in the area, and is not interested in going anywhere by himself.

When he wanted to go somewhere or do something, he wanted to go there and do it with me. It is nice that he wants to spend time with me and do things together. But there is a trade-off in that I have no “alone time” at home.

Everyone requires some time alone, away from the spouse. My spouse gets that each day when I am at work. When I am off work, then he and I are glued together at the hip.

So be it… life changes with retirement. It also has something to do with my spouse’s reclusive, antisocial behavior. I know that he is unusual as an individual and that we as a couple are unusual, too. We do not go out socially, and we do not entertain. Heck, we don’t even go to the movies or out to eat.

But don’t take this as a gripe about my spouse. He makes up for his unusual, antisocial behavior in many other ways. He is warm, thoughtful, romantic, and a great person inside and out. I love him with all of my heart. I have learned to adjust to his desire to avoid people (and perhaps I have enabled that behavior by not fighting it any more.)

Life is short: Life after the spouse retires is different, but not bad.

3 thoughts on “How Life Changes When The Spouse Is Always At Home

  1. You have been with your spouse for 20+ years, I’m sure that you are used to it by now.

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