What Do You Do With All That Leather?

Someone sent me an email recently asking what I thought was a legitimate and good question in this context, “since you have said on your blog that you don’t go out to leather events like IML or MAL, what do you do with all that leather gear you own? Since you’ve got the gear, why don’t you attend these events? I’d like to hang out with you.”

Thanks for the questions. I like to meet new people, too, and based on our email “conversations,” you sound like a guy who I would enjoy meeting and speaking with. You respect that I am in a closed monogamous relationship, and I respect that you like to hang out with guys in leather.

Well, first question first.

What do I do with all that leather gear I own?”

Believe it or not, I wear (most of) it. That is, most of the leather that I own is designed for wear while riding a motorcycle. I ride as often as I can, and enjoy wearing leather when I do for protection, comfort, and style.

But since I don’t ride my Harley as often as I once did (for various reasons), I choose to wear leather “just around” — hanging out at home, going grocery shopping, or the like. Most of my leather is not fetish-oriented and is cut and made like any other clothing. Therefore, it is quite common that I wear leather jeans and shirts when I go out and about my community. If I ever went out to a restaurant or night spot, I wouldn’t think twice about wearing leather there, too.

Do people say anything about me wearing leather? Very seldom does anyone say anything at all. Perhaps there are some people who talk behind my back or make snide remarks that they aren’t aware get back to me — but that’s their problem, not mine. I do not suffer fools well, especially those who gossip.

So what about any fetish-oriented gear that I own? Well… yeah, I do not wear it. I remain silently hopeful that my partner will regain his health and we can play a little… but if not, and as our age causes change and thus less interest in the fetish leather stuff, I’ll probably either sell it or discard it, depending on how old it is and its condition. No big deal; the little “pure fetish” leather that I own served its purpose well in my younger days.

Next question, Since you’ve got the gear, why don’t you attend these [leather fetish] events? There are four main reasons why I do not attend leather fetish events any more:

1) I am in a closed, monogamous relationship and these events generally are attended by people who are single or are in “open” relationships. I’m not interested in sex with anyone other than my partner, period, end-of-story.

2) My partner cannot travel due to a disability, and I will not travel anywhere without him. This applies to events that are out-of-town.

3) My priorities for where and how I will spend my money have changed. I would much rather put US$1,500 into my retirement fund than spend it on travel, hotel, and meals to attend an event somewhere.

4) I am not a night-owl. In particular, leather fetish events have activities that run late into the night and well into the wee hours of the next morning. Since I was a kid, it was always very hard for me to stay awake later than about 9:00pm. I just can’t handle “late.”

‘nuf said — these events aren’t for me any more.

The last statement in that email is very hard for me to say “no” to — I’d like to hang out with you. Sure, I’d like to meet you and talk. Hang out, have something to eat and drink, chat about our lives, interests, etc. All good. Trouble is, when and where? Since I will not be attending any leather fetish events, then our meeting there will not happen. Also since my partner does not want visitors at our home, personal visit will not happen, either. Me meet you somewhere else? Possibly, but … depends on a lot of things, most of which are not under my direct control.

To summarize, I still regularly wear most of the leather gear that I own. My interests have changed with age and relationship status. I will not be one of those guys who buys leather and leaves it in a chest until he wears it to a leather event once each year. To me, doing that is a huge waste of money. Leather is meant to be worn. So I wear it!

Life is short: enjoy wearing leather.