I don’t live in a closet, but sometimes, I feel as if I live under a rock. You know, when your Spouse remains constantly ill, you lose awareness of all things around you other than him.
Some recent conversations with friends made me realize, though, that even if Spouse were not so ill, I still do not think much about being gay or doing…
…things like attending International Mr. Leather in Chicago last weekend, or going to Capital Pride in Washington DC this coming weekend.
With as frantic and frustrated as my Spouse has been about his health, I had completely forgotten that the ump-de-dumph annual International Mr. Leather (IML) was held in Chicago, as usual, over Memorial Day weekend. Once in what seems like a zillion years ago, Spouse and I attended it (2007). But “been there, done that…” we would not go back. It was an interesting thing to do, but not something that we would want to do again.
However, I was speaking with a friend at work yesterday, whose public story about going to Chicago was to see the musical “Hamilton,” when actually, he and his husband went to IML. I can understand why the public story about the travel was to see an interesting and popular musical because most people we both know wouldn’t understand IML anyway. Wink wink… I get it.
Then a cousin asked me if I were “going to DC Pride” this weekend and could I give him a ride?
Heck, I hadn’t thought about it and wasn’t aware that this event was actually this weekend. I just plain forgot.
Going to gay things just is not on my radar (or gaydar) any more. I really live in the most “ungay” world. I don’t have a group of gay friends with whom I socialize. Most of my social interactions are limited to my biker buddies, fire department brothers, LOLITS (little old ladies in tennis shoes who I escort to grocery stores), as well as my civic wonk friends. My spouse has no friends at all and remains Mr. Recluse.
Gay events do not register with me any more. (More banter after the photo… read on)Several reasons for that: a) The Spouse’s ongoing health problems making him (and me) cranky and miserable; b) no desire to travel anywhere without my Spouse, and he can’t travel; and c) I just don’t like the guppie life, as pictured above. It’s just not me. I think these young dudes deserve all the happiness they have. Spouse and I are just in different places in our lives.
I am not dismissing Gay Pride — it is important for several reasons, especially with the Bloviator-in-Chief and his cronies in office. However, I have other pressing matters on my mind and gay-anything is the last thing I would think about.
Life is short: maintain priorities, but warmly support (even remotely) the pride and fun for others.