Internet Searches That Land Here

Every now and then, I look at what people are entering into search engines that drive visitors to this blog.  Most of the searches are real, honest-to-goodness questions.  But some of them are, um, “interesting.”  The latest examples are below, with my attempts at answers.

  • can you spray leather protectant on boots and walk in the rain (California)

>> well, you “can” but the question is, will it work and will it cause damage to your boots?  If your boots are all leather and are dark in color, then it won’t change the color.  But what this stuff does is clog the pores in the leather, making it eventually become hard and brittle.  Don’t use it.  Instead, use a good quality leather conditioner and a good polish.  If the boots get wet, then allow them to dry naturally (out of the sun) in a place with good ventilation.  That will prevent mold.  Then shine ’em up again.  And don’t wear boots made of exotic skins like snake, alligator, crocodile, etc. if it is raining.  Those skins are made of scales which will curl when they get wet and won’t “uncurl.” 

  • how to wear male cowboy boots  (North Dakota)

>> Well, I didn’t know that boots had a gender.  Hmmm, gotta think about that one.  Otherwise, if you’re asking how a man wears boots — quick answer — on his feet.

  • do men still where [sic] cowboy boots (New Jersey)

>> Yes, men “still” wear cowboy boots.  Where?  Again… on their feet.  Just look down.  Or read this recent blog post.  Perhaps not as many men in New Jersey wear boots as in other states, but real men “still” wear boots.  Try wearing a pair.  You’ll look good and it’s likely you will get plenty of compliments on the boots, but perhaps not your spelling.

  • how do you wear boots for men  (Jacksonville, Florida)

>>hmmm, how to wear boots “for” men?  Well, men like to see other people who are wearing boots standing tall, smiling, and looking confident.  Regardless if they are gay or straight, a woman or a man wearing boots and who walks proudly and stands tall gets appreciation, interest, approving looks, and respect.

  • best motorcycle boots that don’t look gay  (San Francisco, California)

>> gee, this is an interesting question, particularly considering where it came from.  I already answered this as recently as this post dated September 8, 2010.  Check it out — then get over your hang-ups about “boots looking gay.”  I really would like to know sometime about what motorcycle boots “look gay.”  They look like boots to me.  And I’ve never seen boots making out with each other, but perhaps boots act differently on the Left Coast.

  • meaning of tucking pants in your boots   (Oklahoma)

>> Okay, here’s the secret — only a guy with a huge boot collection like me knows the real answer.  Glad you asked.  Here goes.  Ready?

It means that the guy likes his boots and wants to wear them so people can see them.  That’s all.  Period.  End-of-story.  Don’t read anything else into wearing jeans tucked into boots than is there.  Nothing is there.  Okay, done.  End-of-rant.  Again.  Or see this recent blog post.

  • the correct way to walk in cowboy boats [sic]  (Texas)

>> Yep, they have a lot of cowboy stuff in Texas, and while I have visited that state on many occasions over the years, I have yet to see a cowboy boat.  I guess the answer is: walk carefully and hold the handrail until you get your sealegs.

  • why to gays were cowboy boots [sic]  (Leesburg, Virginia)

>>this just illustrates so much… but I’ll refrain from making statements that would lower me to this guy’s level. Suffice it to say, there are some people who could be better educated.

Life is short: watch what you search for — your search could end up getting quoted here!