How I Know The Spouse Is Feeling Better

My spouse has had an awful year in dealing with his ongoing battle with three persistent, chronic infections borne by a single tick bite. But by September, the worst of his symptoms had abated, and by November, except for ongoing severe joint pain, the other symptoms had gone into remission. He has not completely recovered, but at least he is stable and off the drugs.

I observe him closely. I can tell when he has had a bad day or is feeling generally okay. He will never tell me himself. But I know… this is how I know…

My spouse is better because:

  • He talks more often about all sorts of stuff, like his interest in sports, grocery stores, the stock market, and news of the day. When he prattles non-stop about whatever toilet bowl my alma mater is going to play in, or KMart and Sears Holdings, it is a good day.
  • When he describes how much he has accomplished on his college coursework that he is taking toward his second degree.
  • He is frustrated because he is on the cusp of being able to do more for himself, like drive himself on errands, but he is not quite ready for that right now. So that makes him very grumpy. But when he grumps at me, I take that as a positive sign that he is feeling well enough to know what he would like to do for himself.
  • He is eating better and is interested in a wider variety of foods. I tell ‘ya, the gluten-free rabbit food that he had to eat during the worst of his illness is very hard to deal with meal-after-meal since I can’t eat most of it myself. The days of preparing two different meals for each of us are slowly dwindling.
  • He has gotten more interested in intamacy.
  • He is laughing and smiling more often.

Sometimes I get annoyed with “Mr. Grumpy,” but I know that the grumpiness is also a phase of recovery. Once we get through Christmas and Spring breaks anew, I think perhaps he will become even more positive. We’ll see, but I take each sign as I see it to indicate that he indeed is better.

Life is short: observe the signs in the one you love.

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About BHD

I am an average middle-aged biker who lives in the greater suburban sprawl of the Maryland suburbs north and west of Washington, DC, USA.