When Religous Adherents Believe It Is A Choice

I have a large family on my father’s side. Most of them are Catholic. I have one cousin, however, who was baptized Catholic yet left the Church and calls himself a “Bible believing Christian.”

He is among those who have expressed inaccurate points of view about homosexuality. His occasional diatribes cause me sadness. I am so sorry for him that he has been indoctrinated (some may say, “brainwashed,”) by others in his sphere to believe that homosexuality is a choice and is “practiced.”

Here are some things he has said in public statements,

Homosexuals are individuals who want to live out a sexual “desire” and preference.

This guy fathered a daughter. Was he living out a sexual “desire” when he had sex with his wife that resulted in pregnancy and birth of their daughter? Does that make him by his own definition homosexual? Or does that mean he is a “practicing straight?”

I also have read this cousin’s rants where he refers to people “practicing homosexual behavior.”

I do not practice homosexuality. That term causes me to feel angry because the way I read my cousin’s tone, he is making the verb “to practice” synonymous with the verb “to prey.” It is like there are homosexual men hiding behind trees and jumping out to “practice” homosexuality on people.

I was born homosexual. That is, my preference and sexual orientation toward men over women is ingrained in my DNA. I met, fell in love with, and married a man. One man. I don’t run around “practicing” homosexuality on any other men. Never did, not now, and never will.

This is the fundamental reason why I become angry with some (not all) people who label themselves as Christian when some of them were taught, indoctrinated, or brainwashed to believe that homosexuality is a choice and that it is an activity.

Homosexuality is neither a choice nor a behavior. I did not choose to become gay and I never “practiced” it.

Here is another quote from my cousin:

The Bible says that the practice of homosexual behavior itself is not morally acceptable nor is their attempt to be united in marriage.

Besides improper grammar, my cousin uses his Bible to state that I am morally unacceptable because I was born homosexual and my “attempt” to be united in marriage with my spouse is wrong. Tsk tsk tsk, the state of Maryland provided for my civil marriage by issuing a license. Not the Bible. ‘nuf said… again, religious indoctrination, choosing selected quotes and providing one’s interpretation of those quotes. Sad, really, when you think of it.

I am very sorry for my cousin, and for the millions like him who refuse to understand basic science. I have asked before, “when did you choose to be straight?”

Life is short: have faith that these people will eventually learn that homosexuality is inherent, not a choice.

2 thoughts on “When Religous Adherents Believe It Is A Choice

  1. Hey BHD!
    Stumbled onto your site while trying to decide whether or not my cowboy boots would clash with my suit at an upcoming wedding. I am void of any real fashion experience. (I’ll opt for my traditional black dress shoes, airing on the side of caution)
    I’m a heterosexual, Harley riding, bible beliveing Christian. I am also a twiced divorced, Father of 2 awesome (now grown) children.
    I had to chuckle as I read the quotes from your cousin regarding “practicing” homsexuality and appreciate your ability to (more or less) find the humor in his statements!
    I wanted to comment on your blog simply because sexuality can be such a “hot topic” among mainstream “christians.”
    It reminds me of the bumper stick on the back of my truck which reads “Jesus loves me and my tattoos.” It seems so easy for Christians and non alike, to pick out what everyone else is doing “wrong” in the World. I’m not here to judge your sexuality any more than I would want you to judge my marital failures.
    I would offer your cousin a simple bible verse that always rings truth in my own mind.
    Mathew 5:7 “You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”
    Simply put I would suggest your cousin first examine his own heart before condemning yours.
    I pray that God blesses you and speaks to your Heart BHD as only he can!
    Ride safe!

  2. I have a cousin like this as well, BHD. I’ve chosen not to interact with this cousin not because of her beliefs, but because of the way she treated me when I shared with her that I am gay. What she and others in that camp fail to see is that I’m not interested in debating the rightness or wrongness of being gay. Rather, I look to those who show me how they are bearing fruit as the Bible commands them to do. This is someone that I will always keep at arms distance. As far as I’m concerned, you can identify a “Bible believing” Christian all you like. However, if you’re not doing the work of loving the foreigner, you’re falling far short of the goal. Following the letter of the law to the exclusion of others is not honoring the law at all.


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