Last Friday, a guy half my age who started working in my office about a month ago wore a suit to work. I kidded around with him in a good-natured way by saying, “you must be having an important meeting!”
He smiled and said, “no, not really. I just like to dress up.”
…there I was on blue-jean Friday in Chippewa Firefighter boots and blue jeans mumbling to myself.
After I returned to my office, I began to think aloud: “oh yuck!” and “is he serious?” I shuddered several times. My visceral, negative reaction woke me up. I thought, “my goodness, why do you feel so strongly negative about dressing up and wearing a suit and tie?”
Honestly, I just absolutely can’t stand it. I looked back on my childhood and tried to remember just when it was that I developed such an aversion to dressing up. I cannot remember for the life of me. I have always disliked dressing up.
Intrigued, I called my twin brother and asked about this. My twin, unlike me, has been Mr.-suit-and-tie his whole life. He truly seems to enjoy dressing up and wearing suits. He told me, “heck, you never ever EVER have liked to dress up. I remember that Mom put you in a suit for (our sister’s) wedding when we were 6 years old, and you promptly went out and jumped into a mud puddle!”
Perhaps the revulsion of the outfit is not so much the outfit but what it is supposed to represent. We have been fairly well indoctrinated to believe what is viewed as the uniform of success. People who make the rules wear suits. People who are “wannabes” wear suits, too (like the new guy in my office.) Whereas people who carry out the rules wear uniforms, polo shirts, and khakis.
For many, wearing a suit to work conveys a perception of success and being seen as “professional” — not just to themselves but to others as well. My friend Kevin and I will create our own definition of dressing professionally. It doesn’t have to include wearing a suit every day, especially if the office dress code is “business casual.” I am regarded highly in my profession and have an international reputation which was earned by my contributions to my field, not by wearing a costume.
This is an ongoing “problem” for me, if you call it that. As much as I enjoy wearing leather and boots, I feel equally the opposite about wearing suits and shoes, but there are those times when I just can not avoid wearing dress clothes and a noose (oops, I mean “tie.”)
We all wear costumes to work and the most attractive are those who wear the clothes and don’t let the clothes wear them. I have blogged about something similar as it relates to those who wear leather as a costume versus those who do so because of function or that it simply suits them. The latter do not have the slightest interest in the “leatherman rules” or roles because the clothing doesn’t define them. Leather is just clothing — nothing more, nothing less. At least, that is how I perceive it (and my friend Kevin, too, who gave me these words.)
I dress up if I must, such as for a funeral or a wedding or a required meeting with big-wigs in agencies with whom I work. After all, I am in a management position and such attire is more the norm for people at my level. But I consider dressing up to be a chore. I get a chill up my spine every time I see that commercial on TV for whatever-suit-sales company it is where its CEO says at the end, “you’re going to like the way you look.” Yeah, right… not me.
Believe me, I have tried a number of ways to work this out. My partner had me fitted by a good tailor in a nice-looking suit as a gift for one of our first Christmases. He said I looked great. I felt miserable. I have had tailors fit me for a tux for the very rare times I have had to be part of a wedding party or attend a formal embassy dinner. I had these continuous chills running up and down my spine until I could get that damn monkey suit off my back.
Anyway, it was an interesting internal self-exam. It affirms what I already know: suits aren’t for me. And if I ever had to wear shoes, the defibrillator would have to be nearby, ’cause someone would have to use it on me.
Life is short: enjoy it in leather and boots!
I appreciate my friend Kevin’s thoughtful advice and experience which contributed to improving this blog post before it was published.
Well, the saying goes "clothes maketh a man". They never said what clothes.
And suit and tie… You know, I can't get rid of that image of someone wearing a tie in his b****day suit. 😉
With me, it's slacks. I hardly ever wear slacks unless I have to. I've worn a sportcoat and tie many times before except it was with blue jeans. I've even worn a sportcoat with jeans and my Chippewa firefighters to travel to my nephew's graduation. So, I know very well what you mean.
Hmm. Are you saying that, aged 6, you'd formed an impression of what suits are "supposed to represent" and rebelled against that? To me, it sound more instinctive (although you may have retrospectively rationalised that instinct).
Obviously, it's all highly subjective. The negatives you associate with suit-wearing are not necessarily generalisable to all. I can understand the stereotypical "success" thing, certainly, and the way that might stick in someone's craw. There are suits and suits, though, and one can play around with suits in accordance with one's mood. I do my share of "power-dressing", and find that a well-cut suit massively enhances my confidence in interviews and similar situations.
I probably play up the dandyish aspect a little, and enjoy little details (sparkly cufflinks and belt buckle, braces, pocket handkerchief, scarf, even a floral buttonhole), or dress it up/down: I really like pinstripes with Chelsea boots, which gives a vaguely '60s feel; or with elements of vintage (my lovely vintage Borsalino fedora) or even fetish (my leather Burberry looks great over a suit, and on rainy days, I like a slick, shiny raincoat). I tend not to wear ties, and enjoy a smart suit with an open-neck shirt.
I'm quite hirsute at the moment (full beard, letting it grow) and quite like the contrast between my hairy face and smart apparel.
I guess the point I'm making is that there's no one set of associations with the suit (or indeed any garment); it's infinitely versatile and variable, depending on the wearer and his mood.
SJ asked, Hmm. Are you saying that, aged 6, you'd formed an impression of what suits are "supposed to represent"
No, what I said was that I didn't remember when I began to have a distaste for dressing up, but my brother recalled an incident when we were six years old.
Suffice it to say, you wear what you like, and enjoy it. I never have felt comfortable in a suit, so I still rebel. The issue was brought to my attention when the kid in the cube down the hall began to wear suits every day when it is not customary to do so in his position and in the atmosphere where we work.
Given a choice, I'd do beach wear and boots.
My skin rebels against any fabric that it does not like and pours copious sweat in an attempt to flush the fabric off.
Suits are really not me. I still hate it when I had to go for "formal" lunches or dinners when I need to put on a tie and a blazer. It's almost always nearly 90F in Singapore. I don't want to die of heat strokes… due to vanity. 😉