Fundamentally Worlds Apart

I have a large family and a very wide circle of friends from all over the world. I admit, I use a certain social media platform to (try to) keep up on what they are doing, their interests, and their concerns.

My “friends” on that social media network have a wide range of religious and political beliefs. I respect that each person is entitled to his or her opinions. I have often wondered though, since we live on the same planet and my family comes from the same gene pool, how can some of us be fundamentally worlds apart when it comes to certain matters, like the fact that I was born gay and when it became legal in my state, I was legally married in a civil court to my one-and-only man.

There are some fundamental opinions that…

…a few of my more Christian religiously-adherent and conservative family have stated. This is why it bothers me–these are blood relatives who I am talking about.

These are direct quotes from some of their posts:

  • “Marriage is a pre-political institution defined by our Creator — for His glory and for human flourishing.”
  • “homosexuality is immoral. God declares it impure because it displays the ultimate picture of human idolatry and worship of self in our rebellion against his loving rule and Word.”
  • People who practice homosexuality are not a separate “class” of people just like Hispanics or African Americans. Homosexuality is a behavior, not an identity.

There are more posts with statements like this that I have read, but for purposes of this post, these will suffice.

I have a rule for my posts on that social media platform: no politics, no religion. I apply that rule pretty much to this blog. There are other places for those matters to be debated on the internet, and I do not believe that what is supposed to be a fun platform about puppies, travels, and daily activities should express strong points of view about religion or politics. But some of my friends and family behave otherwise. I regret that I have had to “defriend” a few of them who post frequent extreme, intolerant, and hateful points of view.

As for me and most of my friends and immediate family, we believe:

  • One does not choose to live a “homosexual lifestyle.” One is born homosexual. It’s in the genes. But (most) fundamentalist Christians do not recognize the science of genetics. They believe everything is what it is, created by the God they worship. Darwin proved this misguided notion wrong a long time ago.
  • Morality is the differentiation of intentions, decisions, and actions between those that are “good” (or right) and those that are “bad” (or wrong). Fundamentalists believe that it is bad or wrong to “choose to practice homosexuality” by the brainwashing they are subjected to by their religion. What bothers them most is the abhorrent thought of sex between people of the same sex (ewwww!). One does not “practice” homosexuality just as much as one does not “practice” heterosexuality.
  • Marriage is an institution of the state, not of anyone’s God or religion. Fundamentalists cannot give up their self-imposed ownership of the notion of how marriage is defined by their religious beliefs. Oh well, as I often say, “how has my marriage ruined yours?”
  • The word “flourishing” is defined in the dictionary as, “to live within an optimal range of human functioning, one that connotes goodness, creativity, growth, and resilience.” That word’s definition never mentions procreation (having children). That’s again where the fundamentalists are deeply flawed in their beliefs imposed by years of repetitive exposure to incorrect information.
  • Homosexuality is NOT a behavior. It’s in the genes. Post hoc ergo propter hoc … see point one above.

This is enough, but demonstrates why there remains so much divisiveness between those who believe a certain way, trained by years of indoctrination bordering on brainwashing, and the rest of us who study, read, and have a wider view of the world that is not defined by religious beliefs.

I carry on with my life, driven by faith and strong moral values, to do good and be respectful to all. I know from science how genetics composed my DNA and thus, why I am gay. I live in a committed, loving relationship with one man who I cherish beyond the ends of the Earth, or for some — in all of God’s universe. I am no better, no worse, than you.

But for those who adhere to fundamentalist points of view imposed by religion, I feel sorry, or pity, because they have chosen to live a life that is limited to a inaccurately-defined reality. No worries, though, I’ll still pray for you and you can pray for me, too.

Life is short: keep an open mind through being educated and have faith that even the fundamentalists may eventually be saved.

3 thoughts on “Fundamentally Worlds Apart

  1. The only real ‘truth’ is that we are born into this world with only the knowledge of our existence; our breath, our senses, and our desires. The rest is invention and opinion. How many so called ‘Christians’ forget that Jesus never said anything against homosexuality, although he is said to have strong opinions about adultery and divorce. His greatest advocacy was in regards to love, which you express in nearly every blog. Religion is mostly an illusion based on fear of a punative judgement by some imaginary super human. The Universe must be beyond such petty concepts. If you consider that everything is of one thing, as it was 14 billion years ago, then we are of the ‘God’ that we refer to, we are eternal beyond any individual incarnation, exploring all aspects of existence, and we will ultimately answer to each other for our thoughts and deeds. The soul of the oppressor will have to face the souls of the oppressed, without any illusion or hidden agenda, and that, to me, is a much more frightening concept than any imagined version of Hell. Be at peace with your honor, dignity, and love. It will shine for eternity as the greatest truth. B

  2. I read your blog and I feel for you and what you’ve gone through at the hands of those who condemn your marriage based on their own interpretation of what “God wants for us.”

    May those who’ve lost you because of their intolerance, ignorance and bigotry find their way back to you and once again enjoy your company and friendship.

  3. With each passing day I’m convinced that the single most effective way of bringing believers to view us with respect and dignity is showing them that we live our lives no differently than they. I’m not referring to the faux believers who want to spout chapter and verse about what God disapproves of, but those who are truly people of faith who struggle to understand things that are different. Thank you for continuing to provide the example, BHD. In many ways it’s a victory for you when those who are fundamentally worlds apart can only criticize your loving and committed marriage. It’s a victory because they would like to prove to the world that we are immoral and faithless and seek to destroy all they consider to be good. Yet, you demonstrate otherwise with the way you live their life and one by one their arguments crumble and are shown to be as baseless as we all know them to be.

    –Kevin

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