Not a Dating Service

It may be the phase of the moon or something else, but within the past ten days, I have received 14 messages from guys in the U.S. and Canada who are looking to meet other men who like boots and leather as I do.

I have been asked,

… “Do you know any guys in (city, state) who are into men into tall boots?”
… “What gay bars do you recommend in (location) where I can find a guy into leather?”
… “Where can I meet Mr. Right in (city, state) who also looks hot in leather and boots?”

My response?

I don’t know. I really don’t know. Sorry, but I have retired from the leather/boot community and honestly, I don’t know anyone any more.

It is hard for some people to understand that with as large a boot collection as I have and as enthusiastic for leather as I am — and also that I don’t hide the fact that I am gay — that I do not socialize, do not attend leather-oriented activities (like club “runs” and leather title events), and am not connected with similar men around the U.S. and the world. But take it from me — I really don’t know.

I realize that I am unusual–

* I am gay yet my spouse and I do not socialize. At all. Period. We don’t eat out and don’t go to bars. Anywhere — even in our home town. My spouse is a total recluse and I am not a night-owl. Both of these factors seriously affect socializing.

* I am married. That’s it — I am dedicated to one man, and one man alone. That relationship means the world to me and I do not put myself in situations where I might encounter a testosterone-driven man who is interested in something I will not do — “play” with anyone else. Not into boot worship or … ahem, other stuff. Period. End-of-story. I am faithful and always will be faithful to my one-and-only man.

BHDweb07232013 * I have a public website. Yep, lots of “me” is out there in boots and leather. But my website is very clear — I enjoy displaying my boots and leather for cataloging purposes and to see, visually, what the boots and leather look like and share information about the gear. I know it is quite a contradiction and I can understand why people would think that with such a public presence that I might know other men to refer them to.

There is another factor, too. I strongly protect the privacy of people who communicate with me. I have several pen pals developed through this blog and my website. I have some more friends I have gotten to know through the hotboots/Boots on Line board. I appreciate and value those friendships and maintain my promise to my friends that I will never disclose any information about them — names, email addresses, locations, or info I have gotten to know about them. I expect my friends to treat me the same way, and they do. It is fair and “adult” to behave this way.

Anyway, long story short — I’m sorry, but I do not know anyone to refer anyone to who has certain boot/leather fetish interests. Keep looking, but if I can offer just one bit of advice — STOP USING THE INTERNET! The Internet gives a wildly distorted picture of what’s out there. MOST people who register on fetish, dating, and similar websites do not describe themselves honestly. Most people disclose factual information, but intentionally use a younger age, different location, or other adjustments to the facts. (I do that, too.) But there are some people who are absolute frauds and have nefarious intent in mind.

Riding06If you want to meet a man who shares similar interests in boots and leather as you — get out there. Join a club or organization where similar men congregate (there still are gay social “MC” clubs), get involved in local activities where boot-wearing is the “norm” — such as a hiking or outdoors club or a motorcycle club (of course, you need to get a bike and learn how and ride). You won’t meet the man of your dreams trolling the Internet.

I hang out with lots of men (and women) who wear boots regularly — I ride in an organized motorcycle club. None of the other club members are gay, or if there are any, they are in the closet. So be it. I am who I am and am accepted and welcomed as a leader in the club regardless of my sexual orientation.

I wish everyone success. But sorry, don’t write to me for a suggestion on whom to meet. I don’t know.

Life is short: get off the internet and get out to meet real people!

2 thoughts on “Not a Dating Service

  1. Hello BHD I just want to tell you how much I enjoy reading your Musings. I look forward to see what you have to say. I think you are a very nice man and just wish I had the chance to meet you one day. Living in Missouri I am sure that won’t happen. Good Luck to you in your marriage.

    • Thanks, Royce. You’re right, I don’t travel much any more, but I have been to many locations throughout Missouri in the days when I worked for a different employer. Thank you for reading my Musings; I appreciate your loyalty.

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