Funny, someone entered an internet search that seemed to reveal this Texas-based smartphone-user was surprised to find out that I am gay:
Yep, I am. Booted Harleydude is gay. There, I said it. Any difference now that you know? I hope not. After all, I am the same guy that I have been all along.
I continue to have a debate with myself, and sometimes in reaction to what I read on some discussion forums or in exchange with some friends, about “how gay I am” or if the Gay Police will confiscate my gay card because I am not “gay enough.”
I continue to affirm that I am who I am, with some identities or feelings from the gay guy world, and some from the straight guy world. Rather than feel divided and left out of both, let me explain how I feel included as part of both worlds — a much better place to be!
The “gay guy world” of me includes that I love a man as my faithful partner through life. I still look at him with some devious and “sinful” thoughts (wink, wink), and he and I still enjoy an active sex life. From time to time, a nice-lookin’ guy in boots will catch my eye. All-in-all, I’m definitely gay in that sense.
I also don’t like to think of women in a sexual sense. Images of scantilly-dressed women with big boobs and tons of makeup turn me off. When a guy and a woman make out on a TV program, I look the other way. I am definitely not interested in women. Again, I am definitely gay in that sense as well.
But I do not enjoy or engage in many other things that gay stereotyping suggests. I don’t care for opera, theater, movies, designer clothing, dressing up, or dining at fancy restaurants. I don’t attend the latest gatherings in Guppyville, wine tastings, or things like that. I don’t give a darn about my hair or products to put into or on it. I don’t care if my beard is trimmed “just so.” There are hundreds of other stereotype-driven drivel about what gay guys are supposed to like. Honestly, I don’t care.
The “straight guy world” of me is pretty much how I am. Not “straight-acting”, but “straight-behaving.” How I behave is not an act. I’m a guy and eschew effeminate behavior. I walk with confidence. I communicate as guys do. I won’t ask for directions. I would be much more of a slob if my better half didn’t tidy up after me. I like to build things and get my hands and boots dirty. I can change the oil in my truck and use a chain saw (safely.) I am much more comfortable in denim, leather, and boots than dress clothes of any sort. I ride a motorcycle and own a truck — not a yuppiemobile with the latest gizmos and gadgets.
Then there is this “in-between” world where I enjoy cooking. I do not like dancing, attending weddings, and am clueless about sports.
I dunno … last week I lamented to a (straight) buddy that I felt that I was not a part of any world — gay or straight. But as I thought about it, I truly feel as if I live in both worlds as comfortably as I can in each. I am gay as far as sexual orientation goes. But I generally do not exhibit most behaviors associated by gay stereotyping or, for that matter, straight stereotyping, either.
As someone else told me in an email, “you are doing the opposite of what everyone else is doing. You are not wearing gym shoes, dress shoes, sandals, or even worse, flip-flops. You are representing the two percenters. …We need to have more people be two-percenters.”
Well, thanks… I am glad someone else notices and appreciates that I am my own man.
Life is short: trash the shoes, pull on a pair of boots, and be comfortable with who you are.