Devotion or Complacent or …

Someone sent me a message recently asking why I said that I would not be creating any new videos. I replied that one of the reasons besides technical difficulties is that my fiance does not think videos serve any purpose, are silly, and does not want me to make them. He generally has a dim view of social media, including YouTube. He does not want me to be part of that.

The person in the email said, “Did your partner object to you making the videos? You sound devoted to him, or maybe things have just become complacent.”

My response?

Of course I am devoted, heart-and-soul, to my partner/fiance/man-of-my-life. Perhaps it is because of the depth of my love for him that I “pick my battles.”

That is, there are some things that are far more important than YouTube videos. For matters more critical than social media — like our home, families, finances, and activities — we work out any differences we have and I am rather firm sometimes about my positions. We seldom fight, but there are times we have different points of view and we talk them through to resolve differences.

In all honesty, my “position” regarding videos on social media like YouTube is, “ho-hum.” Been there, done that, wore the boots and leather. There are no new ideas, nothing new to do, and many more demands for my time and attention than making a video.

I would not say that I have become complacent, per se. Let’s just say that my priorities have changed and the level of priority for time to make videos is on the bottom rung of the priority ladder. It has not fallen off the list of priorities completely like attendance at leather fetish events such as IML or MAL has. I truly have those events ranked at zero priority. Ho-hum, been there, done that, wore the boots and leather.

Overall, as I have aged and as my relationship with the man-of-my-life has lengthened to almost 20 years now, I am comfortable, serene, happy — happy to be as comfortable, loved, and cared for as I am. Comfortable with a predictable routine. Pleased with being financially responsible and savvy enough such that I have no debt. Thrilled to have a man-of-my-life who shares the exact same values of honesty, integrity, and responsibility.

In summary, people change as they grow older and mature, and as their relationships evolve well past the honeymoon stage. I know what my fiance likes, what he doesn’t, and vice-versa. We respect each other such that we do not try to “push each other’s buttons,” but rather, figure out ways to do things to make our other half happy. That’s really what it is all about.

Life is short: know thyself and thy best half.