The Day-To-Day Life of BHD

Rare guest blog from BHD’s Spouse

This story was requested by one of this blog’s readers. When I was asked to write it, I thought “what can I say?” but then it just rolled off my Chromebook’s keypad.

taz5I am the spouse of this blog’s author. I have a name, a real one, but like my spouse, I just go by affectionate initials he calls me — BB. So, upon request, here is a glimpse of the day-to-day life of my spouse who his twin brother calls Taz (known for his spinning energy in old Bugs Bunny cartoons.)
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Palpable Patience

Guest blog by J, BHD’s twin brother

Hi there, this is J, BHD’s twin brother. I hijacked his blog to write about my brother. (He hates this, but I am bigger than he is!)

My wife and I decided to “drop in” right before Thanksgiving. I needed a big dose of my brother and our family to get me back to the man I want to be for my wife… thoughtful and not distracted by heavy thoughts.
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Guest Blog: NewToBoots Attorney

This is a guest blog post written by someone with whom I have been having a cordial email exchange.

Last summer, I stumbled upon BHD’s website and later, his blog. I wrote to him to ask what boots he may recommend to wear at a wedding being held in Texas in which I was going to be a groomsman. I live in a state in the eastern U.S., where boot-wearing is uncommon among men in professional positions, or even on weekends with casual clothes. Yes, I am among those that BHD has targeted as the “sneaker-wearing Dads” who wear “dorky dress shoes” at the office.

But I have what I thought was a valid reason for doing so: I am a trial attorney, and often appear in court. I must wear a suit and dress the part.

Back to the boots issue.
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A Brother’s Observations

Hey there, this is J. I am BHD’s twin brother. My wife and I are visiting him again this Christmas. It has been a much better visit than last year, when I came after the holiday to spend a month helping to care for my brother-in-law during about the worst of the downside of a relapse of his ongoing infections.

This year, once again, I am watching the most expert organizer and a man of exceptional patience “do his thing.” What’s up?
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Headed Back

Hi, this is BHD’s twin brother J.

As you have been reading between the lines on this blog, my brother’s husband has taken a serious turn for the worse. On Saturday morning while my brother was involved in a community event that he could not cancel, our sister was staying with his husband “just in case.” We are very glad she was there, because by noon, she couldn’t rouse him, then when he finally came to, he could not move. Literally paralyzed.

Our sister called for an ambulance and then called my brother. My brother immediately drove home and met the ambulance as it was arriving. The medics who knew my brother strongly recommended that his husband go to the hospital, because his condition was more than symptoms of his persistent illness. They were worried that it would affect his ability to keep breathing.

With my brother and sister behind them, lights and sirens blaring, they went to their closest hospital. As my sister was driving, my brother called me and broke down, literally. I could hear him yelling at traffic, “we’re with that ambulance! Get out of the way!”

I was glad our sister was there to drive him, because he was not in shape to drive himself. The call ended quickly. I asked him to call me back once he knew what was going on.

I hugged my wife and said, “you know [BHD] would be here if you were in that serious condition, so I am going back home to be with him and try to help out. Allow my brother to get some rest and even go to work, since he can’t take too much time off or risk losing a job that he loves.”

As you read this, I am on a plane somewhere between Rome and Dulles Airport. I was lucky to grab the last seat on a non-stop flight. Another sister will meet me and take me wherever I need to be — either at the hospital or at my brother’s house provided his husband is stable and back at home.

Man, it’s been so rough for my brother-in-law and his very worried, yet patient caregiver husband, my brother. Pray for peaceful recovery.

As my brother would say, “life is short — show those you love how you love them. Be there!”

Observations from a brother

Guest blog from BHD’s twin brother, J

I decided to come visit my brother after all. He told me to take some time for me, to decompress after my six-month assignment with a voluntary organization where I tried to bring some relief to people suffering from political strife and long-term neglect.

I returned to my home in Italy from that assignment about one month ago. I have enjoyed spending time with my wife and catching up on many things — most of which (besides my wife) seem trivial now.

But what is not trivial is where I can help a guy who never asks for help, but helps many others.
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This is a guest blog post written by my sister M

This is the first time I have written something for my little bother’s blog. Yes, you read that right — my brother who goes by “BHD” uses the reference “your little bother” when he closes his email messages to me. The phrase dates back to when we lived under the same roof and, let’s say, we had many sibling arguments.

We both grew up. He is not a bother to me, but is a cherished friend. His twin brother, as well as my five other brothers, are also very close.

It is time to recognize and thank my brother “BHD” and his twin “J” for their steady, complete, and enduring love and affection, their help and sincere support throughout my life. They are great uncles to my children and great “great uncles” to my grandchildren.

Each of them inspire me to be better. To be a good person. To live life completely. To give back in return for all of the blessings bestowed upon me.

I am truly blessed with these great men in my life who lead, let’s say “naturally.” With grace, dignity, and downright beauty, they do not talk about taking action to resolve the world’s problems — they just do it.

BHD is a marvelous caregiver with the biggest heart I have ever seen. He has deep faith that comforts the most troubled souls. His dedication to caring for our uncle and aunt as they aged and became infirmed was legendary. A true demonstration of love. His commitment to caring for his husband for the duration of his illness and putting up with a tremendous strain throughout those awful months is a testament to the characteristics he possesses that I have long admired: persistence, patience, “unflusteredness,” and enduring love.

J, the ultimate professional, carried out a very difficult career with tremendous dignity and stature. I am still amazed how my little brother, the jock football team captain, grew up to be such a great man who has won respect from political leaders in our country and around the world. And today in his retirement, he is working to help through direct action to resolve suffering, pain, malnutrition, and illness — as he says, “one small community at a time.”

Both of my brothers will celebrate another birthday tomorrow. My gift is that I get to celebrate them

With love for my brothers, happy birthday and thank you for being the men you are.

Sister M